The Aggressive Progressive

A Reminder

2006-01-02T15:15:00.000-05:00

We've moved our primary site to here.

While we plan to keep updating this site until Jan. 31, please changes your links. This will become the AggPro Annex in February, where we comment on various non-political issues and make fun of people.

Dispatch from the reality mail filter

2005-01-04T17:54:00.000-05:00

As the Aggressive Progressive, I get lots of email. Most of it offers me cheap Viagra or details of alleged stories about the guy I just ran against for state legislature hitting on nuns in the mall, stealing funding from poor children and (wait for it) stealing funding from poor nuns and giving it to rich nuns.

So you can imagine my thrill when I apparently got this message from my newly reelected Congress-Weasel, Slippery Jim Gerlach, especially after it was run through my mail server's new reality filter (which frankly, beats the heck out of a spam filter).

It's been an exciting and busy two years. As I officially begin my second term this week, I'd like to take a moment to share with you some of the reasons why these last two years were so special and what we can look forward to in the future.

Throughout the 108th Congress, we've worked exceptionally hard to line the pockets of our key campaign contributors and support the president's radical program of wealth redistribution through the passage of important legislation to provide seniors with a bogus and confusing prescription drug benefit through Medicare — a giant sweetheart deal for my pals at HMOs and drug companies — and billions of new dollars for special education that no real students will ever really see. Proudly, though Congress enacted my bill to have a new veterans cemetery located in southeastern Pennsylvania, because as you all know, I relate better to dead people than living ones. Don't forget my proposal to reauthorize the National Estuary Program to preserve our precious streams and drinking water although I was disappointed we weren't able to slip in a provision to make it easier for water companies to tap into protected aquifers, to spur added development. But it's good to have something to work on for the next term.

I was pleased to support my colleague, Tom DeLay, in his attempt to keep his party leadership post once, uh, I mean, if he is indicted. I'm proud to support such great patriots as Congressman DeLay against radical, left-wing attempts to make him comply with federal and state law.

The last campaign cycle was challenging, but one that I found enjoyable and rewarding, especially when my staff and I spent time on the PoliticsPa.com message boards making adolescent jokes about Lois Murphy's breasts. Even though she is kind of funny looking and absolutely embarrassed me during our campaign debates, she does have big 'uns, don't she? Woo hoo!

As the 109th Congress gets underway, I will continue to put my contributors first by sponsoring legislation to protect their interests, cover my butt and do what GOP leadership tells me to do. Congress will also take on important issues such as Social Security reform, immigration reform, health insurance and a highway authorization bill, all of which will be shaped by the usual radical, right-wing agenda, misinformation, media manipulation and lying, all of which I support, whole-heartedly.

It's been my honor working for and fleecing all of you these last two years. I look forward to two more unproductive and enjoyable years as Pennsylvania's 6th Congressional District representative. Please visit my Web site at www.house.gov/gerlach for more information and to sign up to start receiving my congressional e-newsletter.

Jim Gerlach

TO UNSUBSCRIBE TO THIS NEWSLETTER, REPLY TO THIS EMAIL AND IN THE BODY TYPE DELETE SUBSCRIPTION and then two of my thugs will come to your house, beat the hell out of you, and find some grounds to lock you up as an "enemy combatant."

New Year's Resolutions for other people

2005-01-03T15:21:00.000-05:00

Being the kind, thoughtful guy that he is, the The Agg Pro has come up with a batch of New Year's resolutions for other people. Nice eh?

George W. Bush: Trample Constitution. Check. Go to war for no good reason. Check. Run up giant deficits. Check. Relax environmental regulations for corporate buddies. Check. That just leaves dismantling Social Security and invading the rest of "terra" countries, at least the ones with oil. Heh heh. That should be fun.

Dick Cheney: Work to better at keeping lips from moving when W speaks. Practice throwing voice better, because it would be a scream to have Justice Ginsburg tell Sen. Leahy to "Fuck off" during State of the Union address.

Don Rumsfeld: Buy extra kevlar to better insulate office from troop complaints. Remember to get story straight on Flight 93 shootdown, um, heroic crash.

Bill Frist: Keep shoving Rick Santorum out of his office, reminding the Pennsylvania senator he's not retiring until 2006.

Harry Reid: Grow a pair and fight the GOP at every turn.

Nancy Pelosi: Loan your pair to Reid when he needs it.

Hillary Clinton: Take one for the team: announce you won't seek the presidency in 2008.

Bob Novak: Begin tirade about media elites who refuse to divulge sources and then suddenly implode with irony.

Matt Drudge: Be a homophobic queen who delights in ruining people's careers by making up items for his pathetic Web site. Oh wait. Nevermind.

The Amish: Sign up for broadband and start blogging about their cows.

The Republican Party: sign up for refresher course in vote suppression and fraud at local community college, you know, just to brush up.

The Democratic Party: Stop lying in the corner like a beaten dog and start fighting back.

Canada: Keep chasing the eternal dream, bacon-flavored, beer-fried donuts, while enjoying the fact that your country isn't run by a bunch of international criminals.

MTV: Admit it's over and accept that you are about as cool as the kid in school who got thrown out of the Amish for not being hip enough.

The NFL: After no one, even people who die on the couch after the first half, bothers to watch Paul McCarney's Super Bowl halftime show, announce first-ever all nude. but tasteful for the family, halftime show for next season.

Fighting for the American Way

2005-01-02T15:14:00.000-05:00

I’ve had some serious issues with the continuing detaining of alleged terrorists — those for whom there isn’t enough evidence to charge. Unlike other legal systems in the world, the United States had always presumed innocence until proven guilty. If there isn’t even evidence to charge — or convict, you walk free. It’s not perfect, but it is the American Way: better to release 10 guilty men than to imprison one innocent one.

But “enemy combatants” whether they be Saudi or even Americans, suddenly have no rights, despite the fact that the Constitution makes no such distinction. And worse, now the government is talking about keeping people it doesn’t have evidence on in prison for life. No charges, no trial, no due process — just prison for life.

But oh, you scoff, this can’t happen to me. But the point is, though, is that it is happening to you. A person here or there of Arabic ancestry, but American citizenship. disappears — and can’t see their attorney, their family, or even find out what they’ve been charged with, and that’s already happened. Next, come a few radical left-wing protesters, no-good, dirty rabble, and then those who speak out against the government. And then it’s your neighbor — or maybe you.

It doesn’t take long — and it can happen and will in this country.

You must fight this, and we on the left have to figure out to make this expensive to Corporate America. Very expensive, so that they have to pay attention and reevaluate their relationship with the Neo-Cons. Without corporate financial backing, the Neo-Cons will dry up and blow away.

But we must act before it is too late. Before it is your friend, your child, your parent — or even you — who is whisked off into detention with no charges, no hope of a trial. Make no mistake, we face a difficult battle, and opposition convinced of their right to trample all that is holy to most Americans. We are fighting people who may very well be led a man who is a war criminal at best, and at worst, a man guilty of treason against the United States of America. Of course, should it come to that, George W. Bush will know the crimes he is charged with and be given a fair trial.

Can any of us now be sure of keeping those same inalienable rights as Americans?

As patriots, we must stand and fight for our country, just as our forefathers did. Will you stand and add your voice to the growing chorus? This isn't about liberal or conservative, this is about fighting for the things that make America unique and special.

Thomas Jefferson said it best:

When the government fears the people there is liberty; when the people fear the government there is tyranny.

It’s time to put some fear into this government.

Not so happy new year

2005-01-01T17:43:00.000-05:00

This was supposed to be our gala grand opening day, the debut of the new Aggressive Progressive, (Remember, Bloggeroids, we've moved the main site) the day it formally morphed from a blog to a community of ideas on the left.

While we’re open for business and everything is tweaked within an inch of its life, it is hard to draw much enthusiasm this first day of 2005. As the death toll continues to spike in Southeast Asia, numbers that could horribly, incredibly pass 500,000 deaths, with millions more homeless. 100,000 more are dead in Iraq because of a pointless and dishonest war, and the forces of evil are massing at the ramparts ready to destroy Social Security for no reason better than to line the pockets of Wall Street’s tycoons, nice guys who love to write giant campaign contributions to the GOP.

All in all, at the dawn of 2005, Earth is not exactly a happening place.

And while the blogosphere has been abuzz with entries about the tsunami disaster, there’s not much I can add, other than to note that we’d added a logo to the left for Unicef (on the new blog, click here to see it), please click it and help if you are in a position to do so, and that our prayers go out to the victims, their families and the survivors, many of whom will have to rebuild despite grinding poverty in many of areas struck by the disaster.

We’ll have our New Year’s Resolutions for other people tomorrow, and Dan will have updated rankings in the presidential derby. Now that I totally finished with creation of the new site, I can and will turn my attention to being the lusty content provider you’ve come to love (or dispise). Caity O’Loughlin and Al Tustin are due back shortly from their respective holiday ski vacations in Vail and Detroit (every year, Al gets drunk and skis down Woodward Avenue behind a 1976 El Camino. He claims it keeps him young.)

Finally, we’ll have our preview of the Electoral College vote and guess which senators might be willing to challenge those wacky Ohio electoral votes. Will it matter? Will it bring on the first Constitutional crisis in more than a century, or will the GOP short-circuit it all in the U.S. House? Pop some popcorn, it should be a dandy.

Meanwhile, wander over to the boards, sign up, pick out a comfy chair and post a comment or two.

Moving Day

2004-12-31T14:37:00.000-05:00

The boxes are all packed, and everything is on the truck.

We're moving to our new home:

http://blog.theaggressiveprogressive.com

Our other address, www.democrats.tk will be repointed shortly to the new site.

Update: Democrats.tk is now repointed, so you may use it.

For those who don't get our URL change, we'll continue to double post for a month before turning this into something of an annex.

Why move? Well aisde from all the constant issues with Blogger, we wanted to be more than just a blog, but rather a community. At the new AggPro, we have a forum, plus we offer the ability to allow you, once approved as a member, to post on our blog. There's other cool things such as newsfeeds and a picture gallery.

Come and post your thoughts, even if it is how full of crap you think we are.

Paper calls out Neo-Con liars

2004-12-30T17:59:00.000-05:00

Imagine my shock at a newspaper, The Delaware County Times, the same paper that compared Bernie Kerik to Mary Poppins ("perfect in every way") wrote in an editorial that the Neo-Cons lied about the ACLU trying to take Christmas away, lied about weapons of mass destruction and invented scandals during the Clinton years.

The full piece is here, but here's the best passage:

In the 24-hour world of cable TV "news," all too often the facts do not matter and spin is the king. It once again illustrates the old adage that if you say something often enough, people will believe it -- the same rationale that got us into Iraq to find the "weapons of mass destruction" and that flogged endless, and mostly groundless, "scandals" in the Clinton administration.

Editorial, The Delaware County Times, Dec. 30, 2004.

I don't know, but I think this newspaper just called George W. Bush and his thugs, a bunch of big, fat liars.

It's about freaking time.

While it would have been nice to see about three months ago, it's still kind of shocking to see in a county ruled by an old-time Republican machine. In all fairness, the Kerik editorial was actually a bit out of character, in a paper that has been showing signs of breaking out from behind GOP lines. Although it failed to endorse me, it did say I was qualified for office, which was something of a surprise.

As a comparision, The Times' sister paper (both are owned by Journal-Register) here in Chester County viciously attacked me for being against job outsourcing and being in favor of progressive taxes. Of course, since another paper in the chain libeled me and then the publisher lied to me about running a clarification and a letter from me, I guess I'm just lucky they didn't brand me a child molestor and call for my public stoning.

Maybe it is a sad commentary as to how bad things have gotten, that I have to get excited when I see a newspaper staff doing it's job.

A plague of left-wing idiots

2004-12-29T14:03:00.000-05:00

A little more on those of us on the left who terminally just don't get it:

Some of the Maoists over at DailyKos felt it a good idea to trash Reggie White, who died Sunday at the far too young age of 43. When DanT told me about these attacks on the former Eagles star, I couldn't believe it, but there it was. For those of you who can't handle that site without a healthy dose of single-malt scotch, here's a delightful and insightful sample:

The guy was a douchebag. He did his little part to leave the world a little worse than when he got here. So who gives a shit if he's dead? I don't. Everybody dies.

More importantly, the Reggie White deification is on full throttle all day on football Sunday and on ESPN's page, etc. and it's nauseating. So waiting to kick him actually misses an important time to remind people of his horridly hateful opinions.

Other comments seem to think he only made one mistake. No - he went on 20/20 to proclaim his views. He was in full page newspaper ads in his uniform. He was activist in his shit-spew.

Fuck him. The world got a little better today.

This is absolutely no better than the behavior of the Neo-Cons orthe American Taliban, and certainly no more moral. Yeah, Reggie White said some stupid things to the Wisconsin legislature and on TV — but he came to realize he was wrong and apologized for it. Can we not forgive a good man who made a mistake?

But aside from his Hall of Fame football career, Reggie White gave back to every community he played in, he didn't just talk the talk, he walked the walk, quietly working to help people in the Philadelphia area as an Eagle, in Wisconsin as a Packer, and in North Carolina as a Panther.

Folks, this is why moderates in this country dislike us as much as the Neo-Cons or the fundies. We cannot spew hatred and think we are better for it. Fight for our rights? Yes, and do so strongly and honestly. But there is no room for hate, it will not serve us well.

Reggie White, for his failings, was a good man and a positive force in countless lives. The world became a little bit poorer with his passing.

Don't make it even poorer by giving into hate.

Potential Presidential Power Poll

2004-12-28T17:50:00.000-05:00

Delayed a day or two so we could all recover from the mixture of ham & egg nog, enjoy this week’s Potential Presidential Power Poll.

First, I want to thank Politics Unplugged for the link. We’ll get you blog-rolled this week. I’ve also received a number of questions on the poll. In case anyone else has the same question, let me answer them here.

1) These rankings are the way I perceive them, NOT my own opinion. Although I haven’t decided on 2008 yet, I’m much more likely to support Kerry, Edwards, Rendell, possibly Bayh (still not convinced yet) and others over Hillary. I’m just accepting the fact that she is the front-runner.

2) Most of the other questions I’ve received are of the “why isn’t so-and-so on the list?” variety. To quickly answer a couple: Dean isn’t in the Top 10 because I don’t like him (kidding, I just don’t think he’s going to be the nominee - and stay tuned for developments in me liking Dean more); Mitt Romney is a joke; Elliot Spitzer is the future of the Democratic Party, but he’ll need to start running the day after he’s sworn in as Governor. But the most common question was “Where’s Obama?” Now, I’ll admit that I don’t have the undying love of Obama that everyone else does (and I really like him, some of you people are just going over the top). But the primary reason he’s missing is because a State Senator from Illinois does not belong on this list. Let him build a record in the Senate, and we’ll talk.

Now, as there was no movement this week, let’s peek inside everyone’s Christmas wish list to see what Santa brought our contenders.

The Republicans

#1 Gov. Bill Owens - Colorado (Last Week: #1 Weeks on Chart: 3)
A wider national profile, so I’m not the only one talking about him as a Presidential contender.

#2 Senator George Allen - Virginia (LW: #2 WoC: 2)
A chance to execute a mentally retarded, African-American, gay, poor 15-year-old to gain street cred with the Republican base (and since he's a Senator, that'll make this real interesting).

#3 Mayor Rudulph the Red Nosed Mayor - New York (LW: #3 WoC: 3)
With his one wish, instead of taking away his marriage infidelity, removing Bernie Kerik from the face of the earth, or a more conservative stand on the issues, Rudy wastes it on tickets to a Yankees game. Good job Rudy.

#4 Governor Jeb Bush - Florida (LW: #4 WoC: 3)
A different last name. Say hello to Jeb Reagan.

#5 Senator Bill Frist - Tennessee (LW: #5 WoC: 3)
A pair of testicles, so he won’t be Harry Reid’s whipping boy for the next two years.

#6 Senator Lindsey Graham - South Carolina (LW: #6 WoC: 3)
A comp room at the Des Moines Hyatt.

#7 Senator Chuck Hagel - Nebraska (LW: #7 WoC: 3)
Nebraska gaining another 10 electoral votes.

#8 Senator John McCain - Arizona (LW: #8 WoC: 3)
A cure for all known diseases, so 72 isn’t that old.

#9 Governor George Pataki - New York (LW: #9 WoC: 3)
Elliot Spitzer not kicking his ass in two years.

#10 Senator Rick Santorum - Grinchville (LW: #10 WoC: 3)
The rise of the American Nazi Party, so he can run for their nomination.

The Democrats

#1 Senator Hillary Clinton - New York (LW: #1 WoC: 3)
To not be hated by a third of the electorate.

#2 Governor Mark Warner - Virginia (LW: #2 WoC: 3)
For the Democratic Party to remember that a Senator hasn’t been elected in 44 (by then 48) years.

#3 Senator Evan Bayh - Indiana (LW: #3 WoC: 3)
A copy of the Anarchist’s Cookbook, to earn street cred with the Daily Kos wing of the party.

#4 Senator John Kerry - Massachusetts (LW: #4 WoC: 3)
Bob Shrum’s head on a platter (that’s a gift we can all enjoy).

#5 Governor Tom Vilsack - Iowa (LW: #5 WoC: 3)
Iowa to keep its “first in the nation” status.

#6 General Wesley Clark - Arkansas (LW: #6 WoC: 3)
An elected office - somewhere, anywhere… head of the Pelicans Lounge, anything!

#7 Senator John Edwards - North Carolina (LW: #7 WoC: 3)
The perfect opportunity to stay in the public spotlight - lead prosecutor in the next OJ Trial (coming Spring 2006).

#8 Senator Joe Biden - Delaware (LW: #8 WoC: 3)
His own speeches (and about ten more electoral votes for Delaware).

#9 Governor Ed Rendell - Pennsylvania (LW: #9 WoC: 3)
A new leg for TO, Pat’s Steaks to move to Harrisburg, Pennsylvania to be the first primary, a less obstinate state legislature, a chance to whoop on Lynn Swann in two years, an Eagles Super Bowl victory, Democrats to remember that Governors are the best candidates, and some socks (remember, he gets eight crazy nights of presents!)

#10 Governor Bill Richardson - New Mexico (LW: #10 WoC: 3)
A recount in New Mexico that shows he wasn’t useless at helping John Kerry carry the state.

Walk like a Republican

2004-12-28T13:16:00.000-05:00

I enjoy reading about "lockdowns" and shunting aside of minority opinion and the new "imperial leadership."

I enjoy it when I read it about George W. Bush and the Neo-Cons in the GOP. I don't especially enjoy it when I read about it happening in the Democratic Party.

Unfortunately, it's happening, from the Democratic National Committee to local county committees. Thousands, maybe millions, of volunteers who became politically active in the last six months are basically being shown the door.

"Thanks, but we don't do things that way," they are told when they ask why changes aren't being made, as they are being escorted to the door. "We'll call you when we need you."

It's not true everywhere, I know, but I've seen enough first-hand and read enough more, to think this is a major problem around the country. Without the volunteers, the average age of party regulars is about 86, with a decent number of the of people involved under 40 acting suspiciously as if they've suffered serious brain injuries. What it looks like to me is that a number of people in party ladership are more interested in protecting their turf than building the Democratic Party, protecting their money from lobbyists, protecting their little power base.

Such behavior previously killed two American parties, the Federalists and the Whigs. Are the Democrats next?

And if so, what replaces them? The Greens? A new Progressive Party? Can either be a more effective body than the Democratic Party?

Isn't it a little frightening to have to ask these questions? Are the leaders of the Democratic Party listening, or is it business as usual?

What do you think?

Long live the King (or Queen) it is not us

2004-12-26T18:51:00.000-05:00

Well, the reviews are in.

And we suck (which is why we get so many dates).

In the King of Blogs contest we finished dead last. I could bitch about some of the rules being, uh, a little vague (they mean PG-13 to mean family friendly, I took it literally and used awful words such as "assclown" which somehow became some new violation of the Taliban rule) and all the judges were right-wingers. Oh, and we're too mean.

I also thought that the entry post had to be freshly posted within the contest week, and wrote up a fresh, steamy new one, whereas my competition dredged up rancid old stuff from June or something. I would have used that one about little Billy and the puppy, and how they get lost and then found by some kindly firemen. And then all of them get killed drug-crazed bikers. That was heart-warming, well, sort of, right? Probably better than the Dr. Assclown stuff.

At the end of the day, though, it just wasn't fair. To them, that is.

This slimy little blog is the process of evolving from a crappy Blogger-hosted mess into a true portal, with user forums, newsfeeds and all kind of other goodies,and these poor people were trying to judge us before we came out of the cocoon.

On New Year's Day, we'll you show why 2005 won't be anything like 1984. 1884? Sure, but not 1984, except for the odd news about leggings coming back into fashion. Ick.

The Eve of Destruction

2004-12-23T18:09:00.000-05:00

It's Christmas Eve now in Iraq as I write this, just a few hours drive from the lands Jesus Christ walked and preached for peace.

"Peace on Earth, goodwill towards man."

Are they just words? Or should they drive our actions as men and women of conscience?

This is not about our soldiers in Iraq, as they are mere victims, treated as little more than inventory by our leaders, all of whom should know better. On this, the holiest holiday in our calendar — it is a good time to seek deep truths, the kind of truths we often only admit to ourselves deep in the night.

On a Christmas Eve 60 years ago, far more troops prayed that year would be their last doing an awful but needed duty: ridding the world of the evil that was Nazism. There was no need for FDR to fabricate reasons to fight Adolph Hitler; to look into the man's eyes was to see the face of evil.

Such a case was never made about Saddam Hussein, just another two-bit dictator propped up for years by the United States and nothing more than a convenient target for our dishonest leaders to use as a punching bag. The funny thing, though, is that the punching bag keeps punching back, even though he's been in custody for more than a year. Nearly 1,300 Wives, mothers, fathers, sons, sisters, brothers and friends know first-hand the pain of loss this Christmas.

And for what? Unlike Hitler and the Nazis, where the reasons were all too clear, maybe weren't even clear enough until after the war, the why keeps changing when the old reason doesn't hold up.

Our president, whose words make him out to be a man of Jesus and whose actions make him out to be an enemy of everything Jesus stood for, has much to answer for. But this Christmas, as you enjoy your gifts and family and church services, ask yourself how much blood is on your hands. How many people have died because you were afraid to rock the boat and listen to that voice deep inside telling you this is all wrong.

On this Christmas Eve ask yourself this question, too: if he were with you right now, what would Jesus tell you is right and wrong?

From all of us at the Aggressive Progressive, Merry Christmas, and we'll see you again on Sunday.

Merry @#$%! Christmas

2004-12-22T13:02:00.000-05:00

If you listen or read the mainstream media, we pinko lefties want to outlaw Christmas, just like the GOP claimed we wanted to outlaw the Bible.

Repeat after me: it's a big, fat, hairy lie. Sure, it might fill some time on Fox News Channel and might be fun for the WingNuts to run around talking about those ACLU Nazis — or even the online forums:

Anti Christ's Little Umpires (aclu) had NOTHING to do with giving us our rights or protecting them. Our rights were givien by God. If the demonically possessed jerks at ACLU had their EVIL way, church and home would be the ONLY place where talking about God is evil. It is freedom OF religion that protects your God given right and freedom too believe or not believe. There is NO SUCH THING OF FREEDOM FROM RELIGION. I do not care if I offefnd some EVIL pinco commy red meathead atheist. Just because you ARE so stupid that you do not believe in God, doesn't give you jerks the right to sanitize God from America. This is God's Contry, not the Anti Christ's Little Umpires. Thank God for true law firms like ACLJ and Liberty Counsel, who know and are educating the public on the TRUTH of the First Amendment. Yes, you have the equal write to spread your poisonous lies as I do to spread God's real truth. The Holy BVible (King James Version) is the ONLY real absolute truth. Anythinng that disagrees with it is a lie sent from Hell!!!!!!!!!!!!

Ah yes, the "This is America, you can believe anything you want, as long as it agrees with me" crowd reports in.

Except, of course, there's some issues with the truth. Wingers love to paint the ACLU as the bogeyman, the evil representation of everything wrong "them, thar, crazy libruls."

Okay, fine. The funny thing, though, and I say this as a member of the ACLU, the group is only interested in preserving the rights granted in the U.S. Constitution. So then, why do Right Wingers hate the U.S. Constitution? And really, if you think about it, if they hate the Constitution, upon which this whole country is based, they must really hate America.

Interestingly, a lot of them claim fight the ACLU on behalf of Jesus and sprew all kinds of hate in that effort, which of course is the opposite of what Jesus taught, so, in reality, they must also hate Jesus.

Oh. My. God. Right wingers hate America and Jesus.

Al Queda hates America and Jesus.

Texas has a lot of right wingers, just like W, who it seems hates Jesus and America.

By God, we need to invade Texas to protect us from Al Queda.

Merry Christmas.

The Crunchy King of Kings

2004-12-21T15:16:00.000-05:00

We interrupt our normal snarky political ponderings to continue our participation in the King of Blogs contest. As such, we must post our answer to the following question:

If you are crowned King, what King from history or popular
culture would you emulate and why?

King Vitamin, of course. Nothing says "Good Morning" like a sickly sweet breakfast cereal with virtually no redeeming qualities, which of course, still leaves it a notch or two above the Windsor family.

If you think about it, King Vitamin reined over a near utopia of inclusion and acceptance in the cereal world. You had all types, from aliens like Quisp to the obviously gay Trix Rabbit, Boo Berry and Count Chocula, and acid freaks like Captain Crunch. Yet no one was looked down upon, whether you were a talking bird hawking insanely sugared Froot Loops, or an obviously stoned Sugar Bear, pushing his Super Sugar Crisp. All were accepted and valued in the rein of King Vitamin. Good times.

This is not at all like today’s wildly hostile, nasty cereal world: Every time I see that animated Pat Robertson beating the heck out of the Rice Krispies’ guys (although the black hood is a nice touch) and telling kids: “if you don’t eat your Jesus Freaks every morning as part of a balanced breakfast, you and your parents will go right to hell!” I just sigh and wish for the kinder and gentler days gone by. And frankly, I just don’t get Torquemada Bits and hope I never do.

King Vitamin was the man, a man of breakfast and a man of peace.

Amen.

Presidential Rankings

2004-12-21T03:30:00.000-05:00

One of the things I hate about blogger is that there's no way not to bump posts. Do me a favor and check out AggPro's posts - I always like to think of myself as an accomplice to whoring.

That said, time to roll out this week's Presidential contender's rankings. Thanks to the limitations imposed on me, the formatting is going to be quite simply awful. Please bear with me, and enjoy trying to predict four years into the future.

The Democrats

1. Sen. Hillary Clinton - New Arkanois (Last Week: #1 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Polls showing her beating Frist, Pataki, Bush and narrowly losing to Giuliani keep her firmly in the top spot.
2. Gov. Mark Warner - Virginia (Last Week: #2 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Still hovering below the radar for most, but probably the strongest candidate in the field.
3. Sen. Evan Bayh - Indiana (Last Week: #4 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Moves up because of the growing strength of the Draft Bayh movement.
4. Sen. John Kerry - Massachusetts (Last Week: #6 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Polls showing Kerry beating Jeb Bush and finishing closer to Rudy than anyone else makes JFK the big mover.
5. Gov. Tom Vilsack - Iowa (Last Week: #3 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Growing movement to displace Iowa's first in the nation caucuses hurts Tommy V.
6. Gen. Wesley Clark - Arkansas (Last Week: #7 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Will begin moving down if he doesn't do something soon (preferably not involving the gas-bag which is Michael Moore).
7. Sen. John Edwards - North Carolina (Last Week: #5 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Polls showing him getting demolished by Rudy hurt the lightweight Tarheel.
8. Sen. Joseph Biden - Delaware (Last Week: #8 Weeks on Chart: 2)
9. Gov. Ed Rendell - Pennsylvania (Last Week: #9 Weeks on Chart: 2)
10. Gov. Bill Richardson - New Mexico (Last Week: #10 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Nothing new from these gents.

The Republicans

1. Gov. Bill Owens - Colorado (Last Week: #1 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Still no reason not to think he'll be the front-runner.
2. Sen. George Allen - Virginia (Last Week: N/A Weeks on Chart: 1)
Shot up like a bolt of lightning by hiring Dick Wadhams, the architecht behind John Thune's victory, as his Chief of Staff. Allen is running, and he's serious.
3. Mayor Rudolph Giuliani - New York (Last Week: #2 Weeks on Chart 2)
Is hurt by the Kerik debacle, but polls showing him beating any potential Democratic nominee keep him from falling that far. Still, most Republican insiders must realize he's general election poison.
4. Gov.Jeb Bush - Conne- Florida (Last Week: #3 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Polls show he can't beat any Dem nominee right now.
5. Sen. Bill Frist - Tennessee (Last Week: #4 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Between poll saying he can't beat Hillary, and the ridiculous "I'm not sure if you can get AIDS from tears and sweat" interview, Frist starts falling back to Earth.
6. Sen. Lindsey Graham - South Carolina (Last Week: #6 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Graham may be on this chart right up until Super Tuesday.
7. Sen. Chuck Hagel - Nebraska (Last Week: #5 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Criticism of Rummy positions him as a maverick, but could make enemies in the Republican Party.
8. Sen. John McCain - Arizona (Last Week: #7 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Talk about his age is already starting. Hey, speaking of whores, remember to scroll down and help out the Aggressive Progressive!
9. Gov. George Pataki - New York (Last Week: #8 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Pataki's political career is, for all intents and purposes, over.
10. Sen. Rick Santorum - Hades (Last Week: #9 Weeks on Chart: 2)
Please God, help us.

Remember to tune in next week (actually, you should check the blog five times daily) for the special Christmas (except for Ed Rendell) edition of the rankings.

Proud to be a blog whore

2004-12-20T11:22:00.000-05:00

It's go time.

We're competing for the highly coveted title of "King of the Blogs" this week, which we spend a little less time making Arlen Specter jokes, and a little more time pandering. Hell, I am a politician, right?

So, doing my pandering best, I ask that you link your site to this link:

http://kingofblogs.mu.nu/archives/060114.php

And then comment there about how wonderful I am. Because I'm a blog whore, I'll then hump your site right here. Nifty, eh? Because, it's really about love at this time of year, right? And cheap hits, too.

Oh and if you haven't voted for either our faux human sacrifice poll (scroll down, on left), or nominated your three candidates to be hit by a bus falling out of the sky here, please don't forget to do so, as we'll be wrapping up our festival of virtual death for New Year's Eve, with a very special episode of The Aggressive Progressive. Don't miss it!

Ciao!

The problem with Assclowns

2004-12-19T19:17:00.000-05:00

As my faithful readers know (when they’re not stalking public figures), I like to get into verbal spats here in the blogosphere. Tiffs. Little, loving bouts of thought and feeling, usually punctuated with humor, pathos and no small part of vicious personal attacks.

Usually, I mean to do it, as I think the little feuds will drive traffic and keep things interesting. One of those is my close personal friend, the Eva Braun of Blogging, The Cow. (The current lead story: "Today's Baby Jesus picture." Says it all, doesn't it?) Now in a battle of wits — well as she’s in public relations, what we magazine editors call “muffins,” — it’s not much really a battle as farm animal abuse. Still, it can be diverting — in the same way that it’s fun to see the school’s most popular girl, usually a nasty, vain bitch, fall into a vat of pig guts.

But the damnest thing happened last week. I stumbled upon a blog called Sigmund, Carl and Alfred, a psycho, oh, and therapist who thinks it is his (or her) mission to evaluate the quality of blogs he or she visits. That is, assuming this person isn't about 12 years old.

Aside from being wildly arrogant and thoroughly unqualified to evaluate the quality of other blogs (although based on the few blogs that get a good rating, almost all insipid mommy blogs, the good doctor seems to have an Oedipal complex), he or she, or maybe just it, holds fourth kind of like a Rush Limbaugh of the Internet. I couldn’t restrain myself from commenting on its blog and the response was predictably lame. While visiting again (in part because I noted an sudden burst of referrals from Doc’s site) to see what this titan of literature had written in response to me, I stumbled upon yet another amazingly arrogant post.

You can’t really blame me for posting this, can you?

Gosh, doc.

Such stimulating insights, just brilliance. But maybe, just maybe, you should pop another Oxycontin and chill out. I suppose we could have some enlighted conversation about your somewhat flimsy, self-absorbed diatribe.

But instead, I think one of the two new words I'd learned since starting my blog comes immediately to mind:

Assclown.

No, not merely an ass. Not merely a clown. But, indeed, an assclown. The total assclown package.

P.S. The other word I've learned is snarky. Which I have been since the 1980s, and it is high time someone finally came up with a word to describe my millions of published words.

Have a nice holiday, though, Dr. Assclown and send my best to Mrs. Assclown and all the little Assclowns. Thanks for the traffic, though.

The Aggressive Progressive

Surprisingly, Dr. Assclown took offense to this. Can you imagine?

So now, ol’ Doc Assclown rips me a new one in response, actually writes a whole blog entry about me. I seem to remember the word “hack” was involved, as well as allegations of drug use. Thems fighin’ words where I come from. I mean, what if my three-year-old twins read that? Okay, they can’t read yet, but, you know, what if they could?

It’s one thing to have a daddy who shoots heroin, but a daddy who is a hack? Please. The shame.

So now, I find myself trying to decide whether to fully engage Dr. Assclown and his little tribe of troll cronies in open warwfare, or just let it go. From an entertainment standpoint, I’m wondering whether an exchange of napalm will bring anything to my readership. We’ll be having a big staff meeting this week, complete with cigars and beer (drug abuse, pah), to decide what to do.

So, (donning my nun’s outfit and bursting into song) how do you solve a problem like Dr. Assclown?

Thoughts?

Wacky Times here at the AggPro

2004-12-18T17:50:00.000-05:00

Some news and notes about stuff here:

Okay, there's going to be some odd content here over the next week, as we compete in the King of the Blog's contest, some of which will be decidedly less political than usual.

Between the annual slowdown of news, wild holiday parties around here (man, you should see Al Tustin in a toga!) and TheAggPro's obsession with recoding the new blog home for this site, things have been a little less exciting than usual.

Still, the elves have been busy and not only are we ready to step up our feud with The Cow, we have an all new feud brewing with Dr. Assclown, and I'll be detailing how that feud came to be tomorrow.

In spirit of the season, it's be great if for you visitors to list the three people you'd like to see a bus fall from the sky and hit. We'll craft a post with the best ones, motivating you blog whores to post, and we'll whore the five blogs with the best answers.

Another day at the factory

2004-12-17T16:53:00.000-05:00

A week until Christmas, which Jerry Falwell says we're trying to get rid of, the malls are all full (and I know firsthand, having been brave enough today to take my three-and-half-year-old twins shopping to buy presents for Mommy), making it hard to get my daily post in here, let alone burning bibles or attacking innocent Christians, as all us good pinkos are supposed to be doing.

Anyhow, the new home of this here blog is just about ready and we'll be moving over there first of the year. It looks a lot like this site, but offers a lot more in the way of tools, especially for searching for posts that are in one category, such as humor, or Pennsylvania politics. We will continue to double post on this site for a while until virtually all of the traffic migrates over to the new site. What will we do with this site? I dunno...but something likely, maybe an annex, maybe it will become a left-wing humor site. Or, based on recent Google searches that somehow found this site, naked pictures of Hillary Clinton. Or one of those, "Yes you, too can get rich on the Internet sites." Or maybe I'll just keep posting strange stories to drive traffic to the site like "Rush Limbaugh and Ann Coulter's love child destroys Tokyo, eats emperor, named to Bush's cabinet."

No, not really. Well, maybe. No. Well, not if Rush's check clears, that is.

Suggestions are always welcome.

The War on the Left

2004-12-16T10:37:00.000-05:00

Somewhere, Karl Rove is laughing. Hard.

If you read this blog regularly, or (shudder) DailyKos, you probably know about the growing rift on the tattered left. Inadvertantly captured by our own DanT in his unwavering defense of DLC High Priest Joe Lieberman (a favorite voodoo doll of the extreme left for his moderate policies, whereas I merely dislike him because he is bit of an opportunistic weasel), the anger is evident. Like a grieving married couple blaming each other for the death of a child, this is a normal reaction.

Folks, like that married couple, we're angry at death and taking it out on each other.

Okay, Mr. and Mrs. Reality-Based (and isn't that pretty damn arrogant?): while we fight tooth and nail with people who agree with us 85 percent of the time, the bad guys are winning. By that I mean: people are dying on the streets of Baghdad, and let's be frank, they don't give a fuck about NAFTA. Somewhere in the county you live, a child will go to sleep tonight hungry (far, far too many of them) and they could less if the Tooth Fairy is the next chair of the Democratic National Committee, but they could really use a hot meal. There's an unemployed steelworker who just found out he's being laid off from his crappy McJob at Wal-Mart who is way less worried about tort reform then how the hell he is going to pay his rent.

If you think the current Republican regime is evil, does it matter whether you think Howard Dean is a saint or a jerk? Does it matter what you think about Joe Lieberman? Neither of them are the bad guy, but once again, we're ready to kick the hell out of each other. Regardless of what you think, both guys are on our side, they're both good guys in the big picture.

So here's some advice: knock it off.

Just stop it, or accept the fact that the blood of the innocents will be on your hands every bit as much as it is on the hands of George Walker Bush. Look down at your hands: do you want that blood there? We must put our aside our petty differences and fight for the things that matter, the tough things. Every time you lash out in anger against those on your side, you do the work of Karl Rove. A divided left, a divided Democratic Party will be weak and can offer no opposition.

Instead of reducing ourselves to pointless bickering, let's map out how we take back America, how we stop the killing in Iraq, how we reverse the awful increase in poverty in this country and how we fight to create real, good-paying jobs.

Let's keep our eyes on the ball, folks. Our future depends on it.

Youa Culpa

2004-12-15T18:24:00.000-05:00

Well, it looks like all you crazed left-wingers owe Joseph Liebermann an apology. Despite the fact that he created the DHS, and that I'm sure he feels he could do a lot of good there, he turned it down, instead staying in the US Senate to help us keep the gap narrowed. And what will undoubtedly be the way the Daily Kos/Move On/Michael Moore wing of the party thanks him? By rallying behind an unelectable primary challenger. It's days like today I wish we could have a European style parliamentary system so I could be in the same party as Liebermann and not the Kosists and MoveOnists.

The Big Picture

2004-12-15T10:28:00.000-05:00

I remember spending many night in my early 20s drinking heavily and discussing the nature of the universe with Jesuit priests. As a recovering Roman Catholic, I found the conversation both spiritually and intellectually stimulating.

We often spoke about the creation of the universe and God's role in it. I am a confirmed Darwinist and wasn't afraid to say so. The priests admitted, privately, that they, too thought that Charles Darwin probably had it right — more importantly, that it didn't in any way conflict with Genesis and the Bible's dipiction of creation. Interestingly, a lot of Christians I know are evolutionists and translate "In the beginning, there was light..." to mean the Big Bang of 30 billion or more years ago.

If you stop and think about it, isn't it a much more impressive act of creation to flip a switch and let it all unfurl, a plan for tens of billions of years for life on untold numbers of planets in an unknowable number of galaxies, then to suggest that all life exsists here, and started about 5,000 years ago? That's like comparing completing the Unified Field Theory with a fifth-grade science class diaroma.

I won't presume to speak for anyone else, but I don't think God created some little world out of Play-Doh and a shoebox, thank you. To suggest otherwise seems to me, an insult to God's brilliance and a failure to appreciate the truly spectacular nature of the universe, 99.99% of which we mere humans can't even perceive.

My primary issue with most organized religion is that it reminds me of teaching particle physics to preschoolers. The nature of the universe is so complicated that we cannot even begin to understand how divine intervention works, let alone presume to tell others what they believe is incorrect.

Those who attack evolution, are in fact, attacking the artistry of God.

All too often, from the man in the White House, to too many red states, to people down the street, people presume to know the mind of God. "God is on our side," they inform you as justification for whatever they do, whether it is flying jet airliners into buildings, waging war or changing how our children are taught.

If God were really on your side, though, you wouldn't need the justification.

Supercalifragilisticespialidocious Bernie

2004-12-14T09:48:00.000-05:00

Those of you who are regular readers know I've pretty much beaten the whole Bernie Kerik thing to death, what with my personal perspective and all. But I saw something this morning that made me spurt coffee all over my very large computer screen while reading one of the local dailies outside of Philly, The Delaware County Times.

Kerik’s personal financial failing, minor as it was, may have made him unacceptable to hold this post, but no one has raised serious doubts about his professional competence.

There may come a day when the revelation that a political nominee failed to pay the taxes on his or her nanny won’t be a disqualifying revelation.

But that day isn’t here yet.

Like Mary Poppins, Bernard Kerik seemed "practically perfect in every way." He wasn’t. So like George Banks, he can instead go fly a kite.

Lead editorial, Delaware County Times, 12/14/04

Gah!

Okay, we know the media is clueless, but this is taking things to the extreme. Even those who support Bush, and even Kerik, would be hard-pressed to make this statement. Even before the revelations that came out in the last week, it was clear that Bernie had some serious non-nanny baggage, and I indicated as much, going back to our days together in the maelstrom of Passaic County, N.J. politics in the 1980s. And then more stuff came out. And then this beauty. All of which was out and about the mainstream media, even obscure places like the Associated Press, before this editorial was published.

Let's be blunt: the nanny stuff was either invented or brought forward to save face, as it was far from the biggest concern, but socially acceptable way for Kerik to withdraw. And now we hear Rudy Guiliani may be off G.W. Bush's Christmas card list, and hurt his own political ambitions, by endorsing Kerik.

Opinions, of course, are always fair and reasonable for newspapers to express, but one would hope that those run in a 60,000-daily circulation newspaper in the country's fourth-largest media market should be, in some small way, informed by, uh, facts.

Bias? Probably not, sadly, although it may have informed some of the thoughts, as the paper circulates in a county with a very creaky old GOP machine on the verge of collapse. Mostly, though, it was good, old fashioned laziness. Bad, sloppy journalism, which, unfortunately, in these times represents the rule rather than the exception.

Holiday fun!

2004-12-13T13:15:00.000-05:00

Being the typical pol/op, I'm spending my holiday season — hand-coding the new and improved home of the Aggressive Progressive Blog! While all the machinery is installed on the server, the front end looks like Bernie Kerik's reputation — a big, hairy mess.

We're keeping tabs on the Ohio voting fiasco, among other topics, and we should see a couple of normal columns popping up in the next day or two, including horoscopes, our own advice column and the long awaited Battle of The Senseless as DanT and I go round and round on Howard Dean at the DNC.

Oh, and I wanted to debut our battle banner for our ongoing, yet delightfully pointless feud with The Cow:

Of course, the PETA people will have a fit, but what the heck? Who's with us?

A quiet Sunday morning

2004-12-12T11:14:00.000-05:00

A fairly quiet morning, other than the fact that Ohio is locking down voting records, seemingly in violation of state law, to prevent access for the recounts. Shocking, isn't it?

In today's festival of football, take the Bengals and Redskins and the points. Enjoy.

Over the Hills and Far Away

2004-12-11T23:25:00.000-05:00

There's still 14 days until Christmas, 21 days until New Year's, and 1,410 days away from the next Presidential election. I realize that between then we have the mid-terms and some really important local elections this coming year. But the Presidential race is the heavyweight division of politics, so it's never too early to start prognosticating. Therefore, I'm going to produce - for the first time ever - the Aggressive Progressive Presidential Charts (I'm coming up with a better name). You read them like the Billboard charts, but they're basically power rankings, determined by me, of where the candidates stand now. Although I keep full 25 person rankings, I'm just gonna give you the top ten for each party. So, without further wait:

The Democrats

#1 Sen. Hilary Clinton - NY
She's sort of got the momentum. Trust me, this is NOT an endorsement.
#2 Gov. Mark Warner - VA
He's thinking about running, he's a southern Governor (like Clinton & Carter) and he's moderate.
#3 Gov. Tom Vilsack - IA
Almost certainly will run, was almost VP nominee this year, has first caucus in his state.
#4 Sen. Evan Bayh - IN
Moderate Senator from a red state who has shown an ability to get elected in enemy territory. Puts the midwest into play.
#5 Sen. John Edwards - NC
Is hurt by the perception that he's a lightweight and that he'll be out of the public eye for four years.
#6 Sen. John Kerry - MA
Tainted as a loser, even though he came as close to unseating an incumbent as you can get.
#7 Gen. Wesley Clark - AR
Will drop if he doesn't get some elected experience.
#8 Sen. Joseph Biden - DE
Has all but declared. This far down because of the 1988 disaster, and that Delaware is a safe three electoral votes.
#9 Gov. Ed Rendell - PA
Would be much higher, except he said he wouldn't run.
#10 Gov. Bill Richardson - NM
Is hurt by not being able to deliver New Mexico for Kerry.

Others on list: Feingold, Dean, Spitzer, Liebermann, Napolitano, Henry, Easley, Nelson, Granholm, Sebelius, Schweitzer, Schumer, Obama, Dodd, Bredesen.

The Republicans

#1 Gov. Bill Owens - CO
He's a moron of no substance, perfect for the GOP!
#2 Mayor Rudy Guliani - NY
Lost top spot because of the Kerik debacle.
#3 Gov. Jeb Bush - FL
Is lower because he flat out said he won't run.
#4 Sen. Bill Frist - TN
Pathetic performance as Majority Leader continues to haunt him
#5 Sen. Chuck Hagel - NE
Needs to build a higher profile outside wonkish circles.
#6 Sen. Lindsey Graham - SC
Dropped like a stone for proposing a tax on the wealthy - could be the future McCain.
#7 Sen. John McCain - AZ
Will be too old.
#8 Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger - Austria
Ranked low because he's constitutionally ineligible to be President.
#9 Sen. Rick Santorum - Hell
He may be too wierd even for Republican voters.
#10 Gov. George Pataki - NY
Latest polls that show Spitzer and Clinton kicking his butt in NY may hurt his political future.

Others on list: Romney, Allen, Rice.

There ya go. Next week it should look better. If anyone has any suggestions, please go ahead. I'm really light on Republican candidates, so if any of you guys are stopping by, please tell me what's going through your diseased mind.

The copy slug lives!

2004-12-11T13:30:00.000-05:00

Taking a few minutes to post, while taking a break from moving my servers for three web pages, and building the new, Blogger-free home of this blog.

Good news!

The Cow has decided to take us up on our blood feud, interestingly, sending us a ton of traffic. Of course, being a Neo-con, she attacks us for silly things like the text on the site being too big. Well, it's designed for people with 1024 x 768 or higher resolution screens, not your old Tandy computer running at 640 x 480. Of course, the tiny type on her site is only slightly larger than her ideas. She does make one point: too many typos on this site. We're working on improving copy editing, but it can be hard with the volume of things we post per day.

Finally, she takes a shot at our traffic numbers, casually mentioning that she's had some 8,000 page views since Aug. and how she must just be killing us. Silly Cow. Since Nov. 5, the day we went up, we have more than 6,000 page views, or roughly the same traffic as our udderly clueless rival has, except she had a three-month head start, and worse, she's resorted to cheesecake and beefcake — smut! — on her site to draw visits. Typical Neo-con, smuts up her site and trashes us for linking to news pictures of killed and wounded Iraqi children.

Once we finish our Web migration (Monday or Tuesday at the latest), we'll show our new "feud" logo. All I can say is that it involves a cow and a chainsaw (Sorry, vegans!). Use your imagination.

Kerik flames out

While it might have been a surprise to readers of hysterical sites like BuzzFlash, AggPro readers knew Bernie Kerik was going to do down in flames the day after his nomination was announced. Of course, I figured it would take a few months of scandal in office before Bernie had to cut and run, so last less than a week was a bit of a surprise.

So the big question: if Scott Peterson doesn't get the death penalty, is he next in line to replace Tommy "Duh" Ridge?

The New, New Journalism is reviving the Old School

2004-12-10T10:23:00.000-05:00

When I was a cub reporter back in the Reagan Administration, I was lucky enough to be trained by old-time newspaper guys. By the time I got to know them, they were shunted off into the corner, or tied to the copy desk, and written off by the new breed of editor with a shiny, new Masters Degree and a corporate suit. The old timers had a ton of time to talk to me, to tell me stories of the old days, to explain why things were done the way they were — or at least the way they should be done.

The old timers, though, were veterans of the street, working as reporters in the 1950s, the apex of the old school of journalism. Like any generation, it had its flaws, but the rough-hewn characters of that generation, now largely dead or in a nursing homes, taught me some basics about journalism, honesty and ethics. Why you never believe what a politician says at face value, and why you must always think about why he or she is saying what they're saying and what the real story behind the story is, and if you don't know, start asking questions, and keep asking them until you get an answer.

Most of my fast-track New Journalism colleagues weren't interested in talking to the old-timers, one even saying to their face: "You'll be dead in a couple of years and I'll be at Newsday. I don't really care what you think about my story."

Fast forward a couple of decades. My former colleagues and thousands of other journalists in their early 40s are now the primary decision makers in today's news media. Sadly, the ones who rose the fastest and the farthest are often those who were more interested in playing the office politics game, rather than making themselves into journalists. That fit the desires of the corporate media overlords, who, in the name of stock pricing continually hacked back newsroom staffs. Those editors who were "team players" got promoted, those who argued for the product's quality and integrity were either frozen out, or worse, shown the door.

This new, docile media leadership class thrives at keeping management happy, while showing the proper vague concern for readers, listeners or viewers. Those people, in turn picked other "players" to move up the media food chain, for the most part leaving the serious journalist with few good choices. Most left the business to make more money and enjoy better hours, once it became nearly impossible to practice old-time journalism at most media outlets.

As a result, all of the media outlets became weaker, and our citizens less informed. As an example, having just run for state legislature, I can say there were less than a dozen stories written during the entire election cycle about my race. In all local papers. Contrast that with just eight years ago, when for the last six weeks of the cycle, there were an average of three or four stories a week on the race, about the same as what I wrote covering legislative races in New Jersey in the late 80s and early 90s.

So what, exactly, happened?

"People don't like political stories," the county editor of a large metro Philly daily told me point blank, not wanting to admit his bureau has shrunk over the last five years and the paper's coverage of news in the county I live has dropped precipitously. Interestingly, as this large metro daily stopped covering local politics as intensely, its circulation dropped.

The truth is this: editors don't like political stories. They're dangerous, especially when a reporter or editor has an agenda and libels someone, as the Chadds Ford Post did (and no, I won't link to it, as a: I have more monthly readers now then they do, and b: they don't deserve the traffic. But feel free to look them up on Google and send them nasty email) to me a couple of months back. It can be a mess, and even perceived slights against one candidate or one party lead to angry phone calls and letters. It's tough work and I used to feel I got it right if both sides in any given race were equally angry.

But most editors don't want the grief, and won't take the angry phone calls about political stories. So they don't assign them. They offer the bare minimum and then opine on the editorial page about voter apathy.

So with this backdrop, I find all of the recent mainstream writing about blogs interesting. The big media doesn't get blogs, and editors look down their noses at them as some kind of joke. What they fail to understand, though, is that while many blogs are amateurish and some are amazingly good, insightful and doing better journalism than the mainstream media, is that blogs are the first shot in the media revolution caused by the Internet. Soon, not only can anyone own their online publication, they will be able to own their own online radio station, and then their own online TV station. The proliferation of WiFi (coming soon to all of Philadelphia and other large cities) will mean the return of the media to the people, as receivers are built into radios and TVs.

Much like the 1700s, when anyone with a printing press was a member of the media, the results will be uneven and messy. But once again, an amazing variety of voices will be heard.

I only have one mildly ironic thing to say to those in the mainstream media who just don't get it:

"Your career will be dead in a couple of years and I'll be blogging. I don't really care what you think about my story."

Mourning in America

2004-12-09T10:52:00.000-05:00

A bald eagle soaring high above the Tetons. The first rays of sunrise playing on the faces of Mt. Rushmore. A Fourth of July pararde down Main Street, USA. A U.S. soldier digging through trash, trying frantically to find something to save him from death in his HumVee.

It truly is morning in America, isn't it?

Just to recap, we've sent 125,000-plus troops into harm's way, in the process killing nearly 1,300 of them and tens of thousands of Iraqi insurgents, wounding perhaps a hundred thousand more "terrorists." (And yeah, I keep linking to pictures of injured and wounded children, because for all of your patriotic fervor, that's who we are killing in scores.) And yet, after 20 months, we still can't manage to protect our own soldiers with basic protective gear.

And this is the justification we get from our so-called leaders:

“You go to war with the Army you have, not the Army you might want or wish to have.”

— Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld.

No. Not in a preemptive attack against a people offering no threat to our own people. Not when you are spending the kind of money we are, running up the kind of deficits we are. If we are going to send our people into a dangerous, dangerous place, then you send them with everything you can, or you are as surely guitly of murdering our own armed forces as those small children who offered no threat to anyone.

Even those who have supported this war are beginning to see something wrong with all of this, and trust me there is something seriously wrong here. Something criminally wrong.

Pennsylvania and Corruption — Perfect Together.

2004-12-08T16:56:00.000-05:00

I saw this, on the charges levelled against Erie Mayor Rick Filippi's, related to cashing in on the new slot machines at racetracks bill, this morning on PoliticsPA.com, but I really didn't come up with the right angle yet to attack this (that and looking for software to move my blog to my server, WordPress, anyone?) until responding to faithful reader Chinabox as to why I hadn't posted on this subject.

He had a point, but in comparision to the day-today corruption I've seen as I get closer to the political process, it seemed like small potatoes. In fairness, though, it's not, and in many other, less courrpt states, this would be big, big news.

On the surface, it looks kind of weak...illegal sure, but business as usual in Pennsylvania politics. The sole news is that he got charged, I guess, which says more than I'd like to say about the state of politics in the commonwealth.

The whole gaming bill has so many holes in it, begging for pay to play, that I opposed it while running for office this past year, despite the efforts of my own party. Anyone with ethics looking at the bill, and the revisions produced by the GOP after the election, knows it is little more than an excuse to leverage gaming money for campaign donations. It's wrong, it's corrupt, it's inexecusable, and supported by both parties.

The future of our party is in reform, but not until we clean out those with dirty hands. In Pennsylvania, that climbs the foodchain to the top of the legislature, certainly, with serious ethical questions haunting party leadership in both chambers.

Until then, this stuff is just going to continue happening, and we will continue to feel shame about those in our own party who cannot stay clean and betray the public trust.

We must purge those who embrace corruption and adopt a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to corruption. No more business as usual. If you steal from the people, take bribes, sell your vote for any reason, out of office you go, and hopefully, into jail.

No mercy.

Learn how to blog!

2004-12-08T10:11:00.000-05:00

Ahhhhhhhrgghhgghhhgggg!

After clicking on the "create a new post" icon for about the 40th time with no effect thanks to Blogger's always efficient servers, I noticed (on Blogger's little news and notes thingy) that someone had a written a book called "How to blog."

Boy, I bet that was a lot of work, kind of like listing all of the things Karl Rove thinks are immoral. No, not the things he tells his candidates to say are immoral (like gay people, poor people, minorities, women and people who want jobs, but don't want to die in a pointless, immoral war), but the things he wouldn't actually do. Like genocide. Hmmm. Uh, you know, I'll have to get back to you on that, the list may be shorter than I thought.

Anyhow, if someone can write a book about "how to blog," what's next? A book on how to use tissues? "Socks: don't wear them on your head"? I'd ask the "are people really that dumb?" question, but I did watch the election night returns pretty closely, so I already have some idea.

Okay, for those of you who don’t want to drop the $30 on the book it goes like this: write about whatever you want, but always include the following phrases in your text: “Jessica Simpson nude” “live college girls in your area” “Get rich quick working at home” any misspelling of Viagra or Cialis (Vagra and Callis are popular) and the words “free beer.” Then sign up for some ad program (like, uh, Google Ads) and when search engines find your site, traffic will come, and someone might actually click on your Google Ads, making you tons of money.

There, that's simple, right?

Back to my own whining, though: I guess it's just a matter of time before I either A: buy one of those newly-legal assault weapons and file down the firing pin so it can fire in full automatic mode (I learned how to do that on the Internet) and pay a little visit to my friends at Blogger.com, or B: finally transfer this blog to my own server and be done with it, as we're rapidly outgrowing Blogger's free service.

While the first option would certainly increase my name ID and so on, there are a few negatives involved. I'll probably just stick to the latter. Besides Movable Type, anyone know of a simple, but elegant-looking blog PHP program I can install locally? Email me or leave a comment.

As always, thanks.

A Quick One While He's Away

2004-12-07T13:27:00.000-05:00

Just wanted to let everyone know that Elliot Spitzer has declared for the NY Governor's race. Now, it's not until 2006, but considering a donation for him. Spitzer may be the best prospect we have in the country, and having him put a whooping on Pataki is an important step.

Incidentally, I've yet to decide who to support for the nomination in 2008 (and don't think it's too early to start thinking about that!). Last time I supported John Kerry, and that worked out well, so anyone who wants to sway me to one candidate or another, there's your incentive.

On a Mission from God

2004-12-07T09:59:00.000-05:00

Nearly every time the fundies get out of hand and make some new pronouncement about who they hate and plan to crush this week, I get an odd picture in my mind. For reasons best explained by my subconscious I keep seeing Dan Akroyd and John Belushi, dressed in black from The Blues Brothers say, "We're on a mission from God."

Of course in the case of the movie, the in-joke was the old bluesman's slang for being on a mission, that is, addicted to heroin, which to me, makes it all the more relevant these days.

I only bring this up after having caught the United Church of Christ's commercial while watching the Ben Franklin documentary on The History Channel. Yeah, it's the same commercial that CBS and NBC refused to run — because it was just too darn controversial.

It seems these wacky Christians are suggesting that just like Jesus, they include and accept everyone — gays, minorities, you name it. What the heck were they thinking? Inclusive Christianity?

Why, that is exclusionary on its very basis: where do you fit in modern-day Torquemadas? Where is the hate? Where is the outrage? The next thing you know, these UCC crazies will be endorsing peaceful coexistence, just like Jesus did.

Man, how out of date.

What were they thinking?

I Can See For Miles

2004-12-06T13:05:00.000-05:00

I'm surprised this hasn't recieved more play. I know a thing or two about nutty state representatives. Hell, this is Pennsylvania, home of the Raging Moron who wanted to ban French Wine (what was that idiot's name?). For some reason, when right-wing state reps want to grand-stand, it involves banning something.

But the really scary thing about this is, as Bob Dole would say, where's the outrage? Banning books is one of the worst possible things a democratic government can do, quite simply because it leads down the path to not being a democratic government. There's a reason freedom of speech and the press is in the first amendment.

Now, some will say "well, they're not actually banning them, they just don't think the government should support them." True. However, the impact would be massive (most libraries and schools are public) and it sets down a slippery slope.

I'm not sure if we have any readers in Alabama yet, but if we do, I want to extend my sympathies. And, if you decide to move to a first world country, we'll welcome you up here in America. And if you're a Alabama state representative, I have a recommendation for your own legislation: changing Alabama's state motto. How about "Alabama - Worse than Texas."

It's that time of the week again.

2004-12-06T10:47:00.000-05:00

The week ahead: Barrettas, Whipped Cream and Gay Marriage.
Need we say more?

Aries (March 21-April 19). Your secret life is about to be revealed. You can only juggle for so long without all of the balls falling to the ground. Make sure you can get to your passport, Baretta and a ton of cash (that’s what lobbyists are for) quickly. Tonight: fake your own death for fun!

Taurus (April 20-May 20). It might be time to spend a little quality time close to home. Yes, someone in the district office is out to get you and it could be time to eliminate them. Tonight: get your flunkies to do some “gardening” and see if you can bury your “problems.”

Gemini (May 21-June 21). Let’s face it, you don’t even know the truth anymore. Maybe it’s me, but it could be time to get rid of that blowup doll. Tonight: whipped cream and illicit love make a fun combination.

Cancer (June 22-July 22). Freshly out of jail, you should use this time to reevaluate your “personal” relationships. Suddenly, you find yourself public questioning the whole Gay Marriage Amendment thing. Tonight: a little cross dressing will calm your soul.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). Despite the holiday break, it’s business as usual for you. It might make sense to stop screaming at people who aren’t there, though. Tonight: cry yourself to sleep alone, again, with nothing but a “Clark” bar.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Ew. What is that in your teeth? Tonight: Shave all your body hair; you’ll need to be more aerodynamic soon.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). While you’re reading this, someone is watching you closely. Tonight: head down to the airport to watch a few strip searches to take your mind off your problems.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). All those years of pretending to be a righteous person could be up in flames when you mix up a mailing for the The People Who Know Better and the South Park Fan Club. Tonight: hide all those thongs you keep in your car for no good reason.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Being a year older, you are now becoming obsessed with your own mortality. Meanwhile, you miss the fact that you dress horribly. The same two pastel suits, over and over, are pretty embarrassing. Tonight: try a looffa bath with a stranger.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Spend a little time trying to reconstruct what happened during your last binge. It’s a good thing you keep your attorney on speed dial. Tonight: head out for a few drinks. What could happen?

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Once again, your lack of understanding of how to deal with people crops up when a store clerk begins hitting you repeatedly with a crowbar. Tonight: flirt incoherently with your ICU nurse.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Really, it’s not that you’re self-absorbed, it’s that nobody really understands you. Can you be blamed for using a stun gun on everyone who comes close to you? Well, maybe for the nuns. Tonight: take odd satisfaction from surfing the Web for porn of yourself — finding repeatedly, you enjoy it way too much.

Football pix.

2004-12-05T13:28:00.000-05:00

Not to take away from DanT's post:

But, take the Seahawks, and yes, the Ravens, as our Underdogs of the day.

We now return you to our regularly scheduled bashing of conservative weasels.

Thank you.

Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Part II

2004-12-05T05:11:00.000-05:00

All right, I'm back to explain why this is a bad scenario. You don't know what I'm talking about? Okay, go read Part I of this post, I'll wait.

That was wonderful writing, wasn't it? Okay. Now, how many of you read the article in The Hill I linked to? Be honest. All right, go back and read it, I'll wait.

Now we can get back to business. So why is this a horrible scenario? Because we're going to lose. Badly. Whatever racist, sexist, "law and order," Constitution-destroying homophobe Bush will appoint is going to sail through against our objections while we're painted as obstructionists (whatever that means) who are playing politics with the judiciary. Why? Because we're planning to win this by telling people about the nominee's record.

Scuse me while I change parties.

See, here's the problem with Democrats. If you've read Lakoff, you understand what I mean about the Enlightenment Myth, that we think the truth trumps all. However, as he explains, people don't think in facts, they think in frames, and facts that don't fit those frames bounce off. If you think this is just lunacy try and think of all the times you've argued with a Republican and hit some awesome points, busting out the latest facts you picked up from The Nation, and destroyed their argument. Then think about how that didn't change their opinion one iota. Look at how many times John Kerry hammered Bush for Tora Bora and how that didn't significantly make people doubt Bush on national security, but the Swift Boat Veterans for (I can't even type this with a straight face) Truth could shred JFK's credibility with easily proven lies.

This is part of our problem, what I like to call Perry Mason Syndrome (or Raymond Burr Disease, I haven't decided yet). Democrats act like the world is an episode of Perry Mason. We always think that in the last five minutes if we get the killer on the stand and bust out that undeniable fact then we'll win. Republicans act like the world is a real trial. The case is almost always won before it gets into the courtroom, and once in the courtroom your goal is to build a theory of the case favorable to your client (with annoying facts falling by the wayside) and present your client as someone sympathetic to the jury. Guess which one of these scenarios works here in the real world?

So if you think we're going to win this by reading cases, think again. This confirmation battle started in 1964 and we're already deep in the hole. We need a way to dig out.

Blood feuds for fun

2004-12-04T20:57:00.000-05:00

We here at The Aggressive Progressive, during our weekly staff meeting were banging around the idea of starting a blood fued with another blog. I, for one, know I am tired of hitting DanT over the head with a chair repeatedly just to create some drama.

I'm thinking this chick, The Cow (The other Red Meat), seems like my favorite target for a blood feud. She's already ripped us on her poorly-written, Bush-Tush kissing, pathetic lump-hole of a blog. Of course, what do you expect: this woman does public relations for a living (translation: people pay her to either, a: lie; or b: teach them how to lie better; or c: insist that the truth is actually a lie.).

Now it's certainly not enough to be a right-winger, as there are a couple we respect and have even Blogrolled, to draw our ire. No, whomever we fued with must be: cliquish, snobbish, a know-it-all, write voluminously about things they have no first-hand knowledge about, and think themselves brilliant, yet possess the IQ of a box of Twinkies. And while I think The Cow is a perfect example, I think you readers should have some say before we invade another blog on a preemptive basis, although in this case, the UN inspectors did find a ton of WMD (words of mass delusion) on her site.

Still, there must be others. Post your nominations over the next week, and we'll narrow it down to a couple and let the readers vote. I will ask all of the regulars to pick one site with which to feud and make their cases over the next few days.

Gosh. Now, I feel safer.

2004-12-04T18:52:00.000-05:00

Whew.

Now that it's been announced that Bernie Kerik is taking over for that brain surgeon Tom Ridge as Director of Internal Security, Spying and Duct Tape, I feel so much safer.

Aside from the fact that it means the color-coded "are you going to die today?" meter might get tossed, it shows a move in a new direction for the Bush Administration. Honesty.

Yup. The Bush Administration is telling America it just doesn't care any more: the looting is well under way and no pretense is being made to hide it. Why else add such a crooked, slimy character to the cabinet?

You see, Bernie Kerik and I go way back. Back to Passaic County, N.J., where we both grew up, although he's 10 years older than me. Bernie first made it as the hand-picked warden of the Passaic County Jail of the notorious Sheriff Edwin Englehardt. Englehardt was the GOP political boss who ran the county, until being forced out in disgrace, when at long last the pile of corruption, which put county Freeholders (what other states call commissioners) in jail, caught up with the old sheriff. As a reporter, editor and columnist, I covered all the delightful Passaic County criminals dressed as politicians, and Bernie was just one more face in the crowd, the go-to guy when someone needed help at the prison.

So the basic foundation of the Kerik claim to fame was one of corruption, and one that would serve him well. When $1 million dollars disappeared from a charitible foundation he controlled? Whoops! And when he used NYPD personnel to do research for his autobiography? Whoops! Just doing business as usual.

So, you can see why I'm so enthused to see this type of appointment. Forget having a more corrupt second term than Reagan, W is going for the big time.

George W. Bush wants to out-Nixon Nixon.

What a guy.

I Hate Microsoft

2004-12-03T15:04:00.000-05:00

As Microsoft doesn't feel the need to produce a Web browser that is standards-compliant, I just found out that many Windows XP readers weren't seeing the entire left side bar. It is now fixed.

But you might really consider using a better browser such as FireFox.

Attention Mac users: Don't use Internet Exploder...it won't even render HTML code properly. Netscape, Safari, or Firefox are vastly better.

Have a nice day.

Holoscan arrives, old comments depart

2004-12-03T13:27:00.000-05:00

I pulled the plug on the old comment system and switched to Holoscan, which I think is much more elegant.

If you old comment was deleted and you're annoyed, post again.

ciao.

The "L" word. Loser.

2004-12-03T10:43:00.000-05:00

Last night, I had a discussion with the kind of person who seems intent on writing the death sentence for the Democratic Party and the left in general and, like so many, has no clue that she's doing it.

"We have to talk about Morals," she said. "And we can't call ourselves Liberals. Maybe Moral Progressives." She went onto lecture me, and all those who would listen, about how "liberal" had been ruined and would always have a negative stereotype.

This kind of thinking brought us to our result on Nov. 2. A party that stands for nothing but what it opposes, not one with any specific visions for the future or any pride in what it believes. A party that feels the need to use euphemisms about its most basic priniciples. In short, a bunch of losers.

Like a beaten dog, we cower in the corner, and allow the other side to destroy our legacy, our accomplishments by turning the word we should be proudest of, liberal, into an insult. And we help, acting embarrassed about what we believe, censoring ourselves. Who is going to vote for someone who acts like there are embarrassed by what they believe?

Unlike most people on the left, I proudly embrace being a liberal. How many million lives have been saved by liberals? How many have gotten education and a hand up to a better life because of liberals? How many people got the right to vote because of liberals? Liberals founded this country, while the conservatives supported the British. So yeah, I'm so proud to be a liberal, I often even refer to myself as a pinko lefty.

I'm a liberal. Not left of center. Not a moderate progressive. Liberal. If you don't like it, too fucking bad. Not only am I not going to cower in the corner, I'm going to kick your right-wing, racist, redneck ass back to the 19th Century where your attitudes should have died out.

America likes winners and can't stand whiny, self-conscious losers. That's the main reason why George W. Bush was reelected. John Kerry too often acted like a loser (thank you, Bob Schrum, you asshole loser) and now the price will be paid.

The "L" word needs to go.

Loser.

Shine On You Crazy Diamond, Part I

2004-12-02T16:22:00.000-05:00

I've spent the past couple of days reading (okay, listening to the book on tape version of) John Dean's The Rehnquist Choice. Now, any look inside the Nixon White House is disturbing, but I'm willing to do it for you loyal APers. Why? Well, you need my insight into the coming Supreme Court battles that will no doubt rage. And if you want to try and figure out what the Bush White House is up to, why not look to the Nixon White House?

I'm of conflicting emotions on this issue (and you really should read that article I linked to). My first instinct is as it always is: fight. Of course, as old Stonewall Jackson would tell you, a direct frontal assault is not always the best plan. That's why I am of the opinion that whoever is nominated to replace Rehnquist (or, more likely, the seat of the person moving up to CJ) should be let straight through. I don't care if its Joe Stalin, just ask him about the gulags and abstain to vote. Quite simply, I don't want our guys and gals to be "obstructionists" and I want to force the moderates to vote for these reactionaries. The added benefit is that we're not losing anything, this isn't William O. Douglas or John Marshall Harlan (the first one) being replaced, this is the Rogers & Hammerstein version of Pat Buchanan. Let them keep the conservative balance, that's all we can hope for. We stand and fight when they try to replace one of ours.

There's one problem: the Hispanic factor. Now, for those of you who don't like to think in these terms, I suggest you stop reading - now. But Karl Rove has no problem thinking like this. He's made it an important part of the Republican realignment he's going after (call it the Raw Deal Coalition). It worked in this election (at least enough to get his guy elected) and now we're seeing Hispanics appointed to the Cabinet like that's a constitutional requirement. If anyone doesn't think one of the Supreme Court nominees will be Hispanic, they don't realize what Rove is doing.

That presents a problem, how do we vote against a Supreme Court nominee who would be the first SCJ from an ethnic group that happens to be the key to future realignment? If we're lucky, we'll get this out of the way with Rehnquist and we can follow my idea. If not, we're in trouble. That would mean we would have to fight tooth and nail for Rehnquist's replacement. And that's a pretty bad scenario. Why? Well, wait for Part II.

Republicans, the other white meat

2004-12-02T12:08:00.000-05:00

You might remember the good old days when the folks over at the GOP used to sheath themselves in faux Libertarian clothing and chant about "less government." We'll let it pass that Nixon and Reagan exploded the size of the federal government, and that left-wing, "big government" liberal Bill Clinton hacked it back to the size of JFK's government.

Yup. That was then. Now, there just isn't any pretense. the Republicans are now about as libertarian as Big Brother and make no secret about it, as they attempt to regulate everything from what we watch on TV to whom we sleep with, and of course, they want to install one-party rule in the congress so that Democrats literally have no say, no input at all, in part by wiping out the fillibuster. And we all know how the abortion thing, medical marijuana and the war on drugs is working out. And they want to restrict your rights to sue to proect their corporate buddies.

Free-market economy? Please. How gauche when monopoly works better.

Fiscal responsibility? Yeah, that's a good one.

So we Democrats are just hanging out, sitting on our hands, watching the Republicans laugh at the libertarian core they've depended on for decades as their backbone starts asking what the heck is going on? Of course, what's going on is that the GOP sold its soul to a bunch of holier than thou "I know more than God" types. The libertarians can pat themselves on the back and congratulate themselves for helping to create an authoritarian government, the polar opposite of what they believe in.

So here on the left we wring hands and get into obtuse policy discussions while the obvious answer sits right in front of us: tell the truth.

Most progressives I know are also quite libertarian but do a lousy job of getting that message out, in part because of fear of backlash. "The fundies," they say, "will beat the hell out of me."

Newsflash: they're beating the hell out of you and you look like you don't stand for anything. So, how exactly are things going to get worse?

Let's tell the truth: sodomy is fun and 90 percent of U.S. adults do it with little or no harm. Let's ditch the sodomy laws for consenting adults. Gay marriage? Jesus, if we let companies merge to create virtual monopolies, why do we care about a couple of lesbians in Topeka? Marijuana? Let's legalize it and tax the hell out of it, treat it just like alcohol. Let's start being honest and admit that we could gut big chunks of government without really hurting anyone, while preserving the stuff that really makes a difference. Let's fight to simplify rules and regulations — and ditch the loopholes that let corporations pay next to nothing in tax while average people carry the burden.

Let's talk about values: freedom, individuality, fair play, opportunity.

They Republicans are surrendering the moral high ground, that is, the old "Whiskey and Freedom" turf to troll through some moral morass. We can either sit here in the swamp of indecision, or climb up the hill and embrace those original and unique American values.

Who will join me?

New and Obnoxious

2004-12-01T16:30:00.000-05:00

By Caity O'Loughlin
Advice Columnist,

The Aggressive Progressive

Editor's Note: This is the first edition of Dear Caity, our new advice column. As we could only get our first questions while roaming the halls of power in Harrisburg (the mall, next to the State Capitol), this first edition is a bit Pennsylvania-centric, and they're kind of obtuse. Send your questions to Caity at: dearcaity@theaggressiveprogressive.com and she might answer them, or send you a lot of odd spam, which is why we suggest a phony Yahoo account.

Dear Caity,

Some people seem to think I have an anger management problem. A few nights ago, at the office of a bigwig in a late-night meeting, I blew my stack, just totally went postal and stalked out. I have kind of a public job and some people think it looks bad, you know, it sets such a bad example, when I act like a five-year-old having a temper tantrum.

But I think it’s not my fault, I mean, they’re a bunch of liberal idiots. They don’t understand anything, so matter how loud I scream, they never want to listen to me, to anything I need to say, and I’m right and they’re so wrong. I just want to hit them all, maybe smite them with some heavenly power, just crush them into bits.

I’m right, aren’t I? You better say so, because you’re just a girl and I could beat the crap out of you.

Rightly Reasonable in Harrisburg.

Dear Reasonable,

Someone needs a hug. It seems pretty clear (especially now that I have that restraining order) that you may have some unresolved issues with your Mommy and Daddy and are transferring those feelings to other authorities, like Mr. Bigwig.

It’s probably not a good sign that you act out like a pre-schooler on a sugar rampage, especially in professional situations. You may want to consider some serious counseling, or a change of careers or a move to France.

Dear Caity,

I find myself using voluminous articulation, a veritable lexicon in indecipherable palaver, designed to manifest my coruscation, discernment, sagacity and perspicacity. Am I ill-omened, foreordained to be disaxiomatic to every hayseed, hick, hobnail, lout, and lubber I encounter?

Magniloquent and palaverous in Greene County.

Dear Maggy,

Yup.

Dearest Caity,

I have a terrible crush on the dead actor Edward G. Robinson. I just can’t get him out of my mind. What should I do? I think it could be hurting my career, believe it or not.

Chatty Cathy

Dear Cathy,

First off, get rid of all of those classic movie channels, and start watching some more current movies. I’m pretty sure that a few minutes of watching Vin Diesel should cure you of that situation with Fast Eddie. Or that actor guy.

News, notes and vicious gossip

2004-12-01T14:51:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the late post, but Blogger has been busy having a kitten or something, so I couldn't post.

The lefty, pinko blog world is, of course, going nuts over U.S. Senator Norm Coleman's demand for the resignation of Kofi Annan as Secretary-General of the United Nations.

Now, in a shocking turn, Annan has called for Robertson's resignation. In an exclusive and completely imagined interview with The Aggressive Progressive, Annan shared his views of the Minnesota senator.

"Well, of course, he's an empty suit, and let's be honest, without that plane crash (killing Sen. Paul Wellstone), he'd be selling insurancce or hanging around the mall or something," an obviously annoyed Annan said. "The fact that he somehow managed to win was enough to make us want to send election observers in. Now he wants me to quit? What a tool. Norm, do the world a favor and just quit. Everyone knows what a jerk you are, and that the cool kids only let you hang around them in the senate because of your jet. Please, just get out."

Annan said if Robertson didn't get the hint, he'd dispatch the U.N. Black Helicopters and three brigades of Illuminati to press the point home with him.

So there.

Accessories to Murder?

2004-11-30T17:17:00.000-05:00

Picture, if you will, an adorable three-year-old girl, playing on a sunny day with her dolly.

The peaceful moment is shattered by explosions and screams of terror.

That little girl now lies dead, her broken, bloody body in pieces among the rubble.

If she is a blonde, blue-eyed American girl like my daughter, she is a victim of an evildoer, a terrorist, someone beyond redemption. She should be avenged and the man responsible, in a cave somewhere in Afghanistan should be “smoked out” and put to death.

If she is a brown-haired, brown-eyed girl on the streets of Baghdad, she is collateral damage, and the man ultimately responsible is a hero, a protector of all that is good and pure in America. Freshly reelected as the leader of the free world.

Were I a blogger in Iraq (assuming the power was on enough and my home hadn't reduced to rubble, a big assumption), would I be equally justified in calling George W. Bush a murdering terrorist as I am, sitting my office in the United States in calling Osama Bin Laden a murdering terrorist?

Before someone accuses me of attacking our troops on the ground, I'm not. There is a chain of command and those on the ground and flying sorties are doing their jobs, both just to survive and to obey the chain of the command. The mission is the mission, and it is not the job of the ground troops to decide it. Without a chain of command, there is chaos. With one, there is accountability. And while the blood of the people of Iraq are on the hands of many politicians, including someone I just ran against, the majority of the blame, and the blood, falls on George W. Bush.

Even by embracing the lie that is Iraq was behind 9/11, the United States and the coalition of the bribed have killed tens of thousands of non-combatants, likely a multiple of the number of those who died on 9/11. Add in the fact that Saddam Hussein, certainly an evil man, posed no threat to the United States and the moral question looms larger.

Are we, you and I, accessories to murder? Maybe we're not, and maybe we're fighting a heroic war against terrorism. But what would you think if it was your daughter, lying there, broken by a daisy cutter? In your heart of hearts, and it was your baby, your little princess, what would you feel?

Now, try justifying this war to me.

The Real Me

2004-11-29T18:22:00.000-05:00

I actually agree with the concerns of many Bush voters, traditional American values are under assault. A culture of filth is being promoted and, although I'm all for free speech, that means that I don't believe the government should get involved, not that we shouldn't try and persuade people to be more responsible. There are things that truly do bother me. Although I do enjoy some hip-hop, I think the overall culture is dreadful and needs to be addressed. I find Howard Stern pretty repugnant, and I sort of miss the days when family sitcoms didn't talk about sex.

However, the biggest problem I have with those who do wail about these things is that they frequently are either hypocrites or turn a blind eye to hypocrisy. Is it hypocritical to anyone else that the most disgustingly violent films of my lifetime starred the Republican Governor of California? But of course, the most obvious case of this is the company that is the biggest supporter of the Republican Party (it's own Pravda) as well as being the biggest purveyor of unmitigated filth: Fox Broadcasting. Let's take a quick stroll through some of Fox's prime time shows and see if we can see the Real Fox.

MyBig Fat Obnoxious Boss. A show that is based completely around the idea of humiliating bright young people. I suppose you could construct an argument under which the show is redeeming itself under the idea of hubris for the ambitious, but I somehow doubt FOX execs know what hubris means.

The OC.An entire show devoted to what made FOX famous: so much gratuitous (and extramarital) sex that Newt Gingrich would blush. Bonus points because it's set in uberRed Orange County, California.

The Simple Life. On his latest CD, David Cross used a phrase that I can't use on a family blog (well, a sort of family blog... except when AggPro is drinking) to describe the 'stars' of this show. But the basic idea of two whores slutting their way through the country is probably not what Jesus would pitch to a network exec. The one redeeming quality of this show is that its glorification of Paris Hilton, someone who has never done anything worthy of being praised, perfectly captures the Republican Party's main ethos: value wealth over work.

Totally Outrageous Behaviour. I think the title sums it up.

House. Okay, there doesn't seem to be anything morally wrong with this show. I'm just upset that during the World Series I saw roughly 50,000 commercials for it. Come on FOX, he could lose his license, I get it.

Playing it Straight. First, let me say I didn't even know about this show until I found it on FOX's website, so let me fill you in on what it's about. Basically, 14 men are competing for the hand of someone who is described as an innocent farm girl (though I find that highly dubious). The catch is some of the guys are straight and some are [Alan Keyes speak]selfish hedonists[/Alan Keyes speak]. Oh, and if a gay guy wins, by pretending to be straight, he gets a million dollars. I didn't even realize this show exists, but now I have to say it may be the most despicable show on television, if it wasn't for.....

Trading Spouses: Meet Your New Mommy. If I had a real Congressman, or Senator, I'd lobby them to support the Defense of Marriage Ammendment, if it contained a provision outlawing the unredeemable crap which is this show. For those of you lucky enough to never watch a FOX affiliate and thus have to come into contact with this garbage, the title explains it all: people trade families. Now, let's get this clear, just so we're all on the same page.

Two people love each other and want to spend their lives together but they're dudes = BAD
People decide to swap wives for "fish-out of water" amusement = GOOD

Despite the fact that I still feel dirty from even thinking about Trading Spouces, I think we can use what we've learned to lay out our vision of the values of the Republican Party: humiliating others, extramarital sex, outrageousness, more extramarital sex, replacing love with greed, more extramarital sex, ruining families and even more extramarital sex.

But of course, it's the Democratic Party that's the party of Hollywood sleaze.

Supremes Stop in the Name of Love

2004-11-29T15:45:00.000-05:00

Now, call me a cynic (better than those of you who think I make a fitting human sacrifice and I know who you are), but I take no comfort from the idea that the Supreme Court refused to bar Massachusetts from permitting gay marriage.

I'm thinking that by shooting down those crazy liberals in Kerry's home state (that has among the nation's lowest divorce rate, as irony would have it), the Supremes wittingly or unwittingly were stoking the fire underneath W.'s drive to urinate all over, um, I mean, amend the U.S. Constitution to outlaw same-sex marriage.

Obviously, this is a good thing.

As you all know, as a married, straight, fat guy, I'm constantly being accosted by gay men (and easily confused biker lesbians), demanding that I leave my wife and kids, and marry them right away. I get email, phone calls at all hours of the night, even mailings. Oh wait, I just looked at the mail, and that was just my former/future opponent's campaign piece, but you know, he's so hot, you could see how I'd be confused.

Yeah.

So, anyhow, today's ruling should help build momentum behind the "burn 'em at the stake, after all, they're gay!" movement, by stoking the fundies into apoplexy. The bad news for our little American Taliban friends, is that it won't make it through enough of the blue states (Pennsylvania being an embarrassing exception) to be ratified, and W. and Rove and so on know this.

So who is scamming who?

Poor, gullible fundies.

Post-Campaign Depression

2004-11-29T05:49:00.000-05:00

It's been almost four full weeks since Black Tuesday, or as Republicans call it, Wow, I Can't Believe They Bought That Tuesday, and I still can't move on. For some people, such as the AggPro, it's been easy (or at least looks that way). Then there are others like me who can't move on. Now, obviously it would've been better if our guy had won. Then maybe I at least would've been able to get a job (anyone want to hire a college educated campaign operative?). But I think the problem is less that the election turned out so horribly than the fact that it's done. I've spent two years now following the Presidential race, from the first time names like Kerry and Edwards were being floated about when I was still in college, to the dark Dean days (I'm not a fan) to the halycon days of Iowa and New Hampshire and everything that followed. Not to mention the gubenatorial races, all the Congressional races, the Senate races.... it was a buffet of excitement. Now, nothing. Reading the New York Times is no where near as enjoyable, blogs have become far more dreary, and the only races to really get jazzed over are two gubenatorial races and a couple of mayoral ones. So I've decided the best way to help myself, and my fellow depressees, is to try and compile a survival guide for this post-election hell.

The Problem: No More Polls. How much of his lead has Erskine Bowles blown? Is Virginia coming into play? Can Gallup produce a poll that's not an outlier? These were the highlights of my days for months, and now.... nothing. A month ago I could get a new Ohio poll (that conflicted all the others!) every twelve minutes. Now, we're polling for far more pointless stuff, like the President's job approval. As Simon & Garfunkel sang, where have you gone John Zogby, a nation turns its lonely eyes to you, woo hoo hoo.

The Solution: Try and become fascinated by more esoteric things. What do Americans think of Vietnam entering the WTO? Do New Yorkers want to have dinner with the Mayor? Are Sunday circulars good reading or mindless trash? See, it can be fun. And your friends will find it just as boring.

The Problem: A sudden gap in your television viewing schedule. Suddenly, you realize Inside Politics and Crossfire and Meet the Press and anything with Wolf Blitzer are completely unwatchable. Granted, they were completely unwatchable during the campaign, but you felt like you had to watch them. Now, you don't know what to watch.

The Solution: Fresh Prince of Bel Air reruns! Street-smart Will Smith making fun of his bow-tie wearing Republican nerd cousin? It's like Begala and Carlson with a laugh track. Not your cup of tea? Then keep watching those shows, but imagine how much more fun they'd be if Ron Artest waded into the studio and started punching people. Take that Judy Woodruff!

The Problem: You miss the losing candidates. They almost felt like they became part of your life. You used to talk to your friends and neighbors about Chris John like he was your long lost cousin. You bored your family at their Labor Day barbeque with tales of Brad Carson. You thought of Betty Castor when you were with your wife. Okay, maybe that's too far. But you get the idea.

The Solution: Don't lose touch. Losing candidates don't die, they return to their former line of work. Go down to a Philly law firm and pretend to have a case, you can spend (billable) hours with Joe Hoeffel! Travel to Kentucky and get hit by a bus, you may be operated on by Dan Mongiardo! Or you can volunteer at a soup kitchen in South Carolina and serve a meal to Inez Tenenbaum!

The Problem: There's no more debates. These are undoubtedly the highlights of any campaign. Those three Kerry-Bush debates were like heavyweight prizefights. But now, there's no more John Kerry throwing haymakers, George W. Bush tripping over his fight and falling through the ropes, and judges scoring it a tie to try and be fair. There's only silence.

The Solution: Make debates in your day to day life. Your friends can't decide which bar to go to? Construct two makeshift podiums, putting colored celophane over lightbulbs for the "you're out of time" lights. Co-workers aren't sure where to order lunch from? Have them discuss the pros and cons, making sure to say nothing inflammatory (and not actually talking to one another), and then have others on their side saying they won and the other person is a liar. The kids don't know what they want on their pizza? You're just one detailed 480 page contract specifying when they can talk away from debate fun!

These are just a few of the problems I've been having. If you want to volunteer any you've been suffering, please do so. We're here to help one another.

Football Time! Well Mr. Progressive, my Eagles have now beaten your Giants by a combined 900 points this season and have clinched the division before Andy Reid was even done eating his Thanksgiving leftovers (full disclosure: he has 19 turkeys). That's all right, you guys will be back next year. Until then, jump aboard the Eagles bandwagon. Philadelphia is the reason Pennsylvania goes blue, Donovan McNabb was attacked by Rush Limbaugh, and our owner is from Boston. Is there any reason progressives wouldn't rally behind them against the Deep South Falcons, Racist Patriots and Communist Steelers?*

I also want to wish a BIG congratulations to my alma mater West Chester University Golden Rams! For the first time in history this laugher of a football program has made it to the semifinals of the NCAA Division II National Championship after kicking around East Stroudsburg University. They're playing Valdosta State next Saturday, so if you live in Georgia please go and support the Purple & Gold, I'll personally thank you.

Anyway, we got a game tonight. The Pack are giving six to St Louis. Now, I have a problem here. The Pack are the hottest team in football - which means they need to fall down. They're probably looking past St Louis to America's Team on Monday and St Louis needs this game more. But in my Rules of Football Wagering Rule #1 is Never bet against Brett Favre. So I'm going to give a recommendation to avoid betting on this game except to take the over. But if you feel you must, take the Pack. Of course, gambling is wrong.

* Ever seen Bill Cowher and Joe Stalin in the same room together? Ever wonder why?

News and notes

2004-11-28T11:08:00.000-05:00

Since going up on Nov. 5, we've managed more than 3,000 hits and 2,000 individual visitors (decent numbers for a start-up), but frankly, haven't come up with enough good choices for our human sacrifice contest. Right now, we'd have to have a Lousiana-style run off between me and George W. Bush (despite my suggestion that he's too obvious), although a couple more votes could push Bob Schrum into contention. Please. Can't we do better?

I'm working on embedding a poll on this issue into my template but Blogger seems to have gotten all wonky about what little mods I've made to the template already and ignores the javascripts I installed for the poll. Suggestions on a fix from you Blog heads out there would be appreciated.

Some of you may be asking who this Al Tustin guy is, whereas others are just sending ninjas out to deal with him (note to Steve: ninjas never wear pink and carry pastrami). Al is kind of like the G. Gordon Liddy of my campaign staff. He was the one who sent the exploding hooker to my opponent (but forgot the Viagra), and attempted to posion him, hoping to turn his copious body hair bright green. Of course, none of the rest of us knew this was happening, so we once found out, we made sure that Al got better drugs and found a better outlet for his creative genius, thus his new weekly column. Free free to comment or nominate your own special birthday of the week.

We may have a DanT sighting shortly, as I noticed a column of his in the draft list, nearly finished. Of course, it may be a bit tear-stained after his Eagles are upset by my newly red-shorn (but not Red State) Giants this afternoon (not to mention how cranky my Donovan McNabb worshipping wife will be), but stay tuned, it should be a good read.

I'll be back with my usual snarky Monday morning stuff.

Football picks

Okay, the Bears let us down on TurkeyDay, but with Obama riding high, I figured they were a lock. Oh well. Today, take G-Men (now, officially doomed) over the Eagles, the Bills over the Seahawks and yes, the Cardinals over the Jets.

Our New Feature

2004-11-27T21:35:00.000-05:00

Reading the stars for elected officials and their, uh, loyal staffs.

Aries (March 21-April 19). That odd smell in the air could be the body of your rival that you accidentally left in the fridge over the holiday break. Thankfully, you have “people” to take care of it for you. This afternoon: take some time to contemplate why you’re such a vicious bastard.

Taurus (April 20-May 20). You’re so stubborn, and so tied up in winning your argument, you fail to notice your fifth spouse just left you. Lucky for you, your pet rock still respects you.

Gemini (May 21-June 21). Utterly incapable of telling the truth, except you’re brutally honest, you drive people around you nuts. They both love you and plan to kill you with a chainsaw early this evening. Enjoy a farewell drink, first, though.

Cancer (June 22-July 22). Your spouse is on to you. You know what I mean. You never should have charged the handcuffs on the credit card.

Leo (July 23-Aug. 22). You don’t believe any of this crap anyway, but if you must know, someone is plotting against you. Move quickly, alienate those around you, somehow feel vindicated by your isolation. Important: read that bill carefully.

Virgo (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). Your need for order probably went too far with that homeless person. You know what I mean. We all saw it, and it frightens us. Drink some merlot tonight and practice your French, you may need it sooner than you think.

Libra (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Today you will have to make an important decision, and while I know you’ll make the right decision it will take you many hours. Hint: have the salad and just toss boilerplate into your bill, a few thousand more kids starving won’t make a big difference.

Scorpio (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). All eyes on you this afternoon. Really. So call your lawyer now before it’s too late.

Sagittarius (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). Be careful when wrapping your holiday gifts. Remember what happened last year when you switched the gift your spouse and your illicit lover, especially now that they’ve switched roles.

Capricorn (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). Just shut up already. Stop whining about your birthday being so close to Christmas. So was Jesus’ and you never heard him complain, did you? No, I didn’t think so.

Aquarius (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). It hurts to lower yourself to deal with mere humans, but you may have to after finding yourself stuffed into a freezer with bulletholes riddling your body. You may want to reflect on your poor relationship with your rivals.

Pisces (Feb. 19-March 20). Okay, as you know, it is all about you. So, feel free to run down others in the parking lot on your way to the mall to buy yourself something for this holiday season.

One last toehold on the cliff

2004-11-27T10:54:00.000-05:00

Through the run up to the election and since, you may have noticed the rapid decline of the value of the U.S. Dollar, especially in the days immediately after the election. Unlike the cost of a gallon of gas, the inflation rate or the unemployment rate, the value of the dollar as compared with other currencies seems pretty distant and unimportant to most average people.

But under the current circustances, the value of the dollar collapsing could lead to vastly higher gas prices, inflation and unemployment — and the spectre of a fiscal crisis, and puts the U.S. economy at the mercy of foreign Central Banks in Moscow and Bejing. Both countries now possess weapons of mass economic destruction — and we handed them to Russia and China.

Currently trading at about $1.33 to the Euro (which is rapidly replacing the dollar as the benchmark currency in the world), after having been at $1.09 a little more than a year ago, and well below a dollar two years ago, shows that both governments and currency traders have little faith in U.S. monetary policy.

Well, that may be all well and good, but why should we care? The first and most immediate issue are fuel prices: some of the run-up in costs has been because of the weakening dollar. Unfortunately, that is the tip of the iceberg.

Currently, the Chinese Central bank has about $174 billion in dollars, generally buying them at $2 billion a day, to help keep the prices of Chinese products sold here affordable. China has been forced to buy more and more dollars and some of its central bankers are signaling that the rapid buy up may be at an end, which will lead to a further drop, but worse, one less major customer to buy our sykrocketing federal debt. Should the Chinese decide to sell off those dollars, our economy could be thrown into a tailspin that will make the 1970s look like a brief downturn.

The Russians, after a decade of linking ruble just to the dollar in international trading, will now use a wider range of other currencies to create a more stable benchmark. That means the Russians, who have been using dollars as something of an underground currency for a decade will be buying less dollars and have the power to dramatically increase the supply of dollars on the world market.

Less demand for dollars means higher prices for oil and other foreign goods, and less of a market for U.S. debt, which means a hike in interest rates to attract investment, an increase that ripples through the economy, not to mention an increase in our ballooning trade deficit.

Fuel prices and inflation, as well as higher interest rates, are major drags on the economy. Already, concerns about the long-term health of the economy have kept employers from hiring, and in fact, we've seen new rounds of corporate lay offs in recent weeks, trend analysts say will continue into the first half of 2005.

Of course, as interest rates increase, the cost of paying down the deficit increases as well, creating a downward spiral, pushing the U.S. economy toward the kind of meltdown we saw in Asia in the 1990s.

Even Alan Greenspan is worried and finally offered some mild criticism of the Bush Administration's monetary policy, after years of supporting the irresponsible Bush line.

So how do you solve the problem? Cut the deficit. Now.

Unfortunately, that doesn't match the Neo-Cons' political agenda. "Starve the beast" they say, force massive cuts in spending on social programs by creating a giant deficit. Except, there's one little problem: the Bush Administration has spent recklessly in a few areas and started a very expensive war, while cutting aid to states, counties and towns while slashing federal taxes. Even local Republican elected officials by me are screaming bloody murder privately about this.

Here's the net result: most of us got a token federal tax cut, but are facing much larger state, county and local taxes. Unless you makess more than $250,000, George W. Bush raised your net taxes and cut your services, all while making it harder to find a job, and raised the cost to put food on the table.

How to solve it: roll back all of the tax cuts immediately, plus make selective cuts across the board, except for in conventional weapons, military personnel, and deployment costs. Star Wars? A terrible waste of money for undercooked technology that does not and will not work any time soon, regardless of the reports otherwise. Toss it and move the money into conventional weapons. We must dramatically reduce the deficit and resume paying down the national debt, which is once again exploding.

Will these things happen? No.

We're headed off a cliff and no one seems to either notice or care.

Fact or fiction? Does it matter to the GOP?

2004-11-26T10:04:00.000-05:00

As I'm still recoving from a too-tasty Thanksgiving dinner, I thought I'd grab onto a couple of recent "news" stories that offer some insight that the American Taliban really are trying to enforce their not particularly Christian version of Christianity on believers and non-believers alike.

Justice is blind: to history

First, there's this embarrassing piece in the Jerusalem Post, about Antonin Scalia's speech before a Jewish congregation in New York, here he argues against separation of church and state. Worse, though, he lies about the founding fathers intent, and specifies George Washington, Thomas Jefferson and Benjamin Franklin as all being insistant about including religion in government. While John Adams and other founding fathers were certainly devout men, Scalia could not have picked three less religious founding fathers. Jefferson was an avowed atheist, while Franklin was often openly critical of local and national religious leaders. Washington only gave lip service to religion and mostly thought it was pain in the neck.

Of course, Scalia's arguments completely ignore the concept that freedom of religion also means freedom from religion. Were I an atheist, which I'm not, insistance on mixing religion and government would show a clear bias against my beliefs. Unless he's a drooling idiot, and he's not, Scalia knows this. I'm quite sure he does know this, but doesn't care. Antonin Scalia is an activist judge, attempting to disregard 230 years of American jurisprudence.

Teach your children...well

The right-wing blogosphere is all a titter with reports that a California public school teacher has been prevented from teaching his students about God and government, including using passages from the Declaration of Independence. How ghastly.

How ghastly untrue, also.

What the school objected to was the biased nature of the teaching, that it favors one view of the integration of religion and government, one not shared by most people in the country — and more importantly, one not based in truth. Like Scalia's falsehood-based arguments, this teacher was attempting to replay the Scopes Monkey trial again, in essence.

One can only imagine what would happen if another teacher taught, using historical writings, that God did not exsist. It would be no worse than what this teacher did, yet the American Taliban would probably try to burn them at the stake.

On a side note, Matt Drudge not only breathlessly reported this, but then published the prinicipal's home phone number. This is typical of the harrassment tactics used by certain segments of the right, and is patently irresponsible, yet no one calls him on it.

I'd suggest that you flood him with email, but he won't care. Don't visit his site, either, because he'll enjoy the traffic too much. We need to either come up with a working plan to deal with this guy, and Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Joe Scarborough and of course, Bill O'Reilly, all of whom seem to care little about facts. I'm open to suggestions on how to discredit the lot of them.

More than one Turkey in DC

2004-11-25T10:36:00.000-05:00

For a holiday morning, there seems to be a lot to read, and in turn, comment on. Enjoy your turkey and your family. As a matter of course, you pretty much have to take the Bears and the points this afternoon.

Shrub pees on Big Dog

The Blogosphere has been making much of the photo of Bush shoving Clinton out of the way at the Big Dog's library dedication, a violation of protocol, and Stanley Blumenthal has some admittedly biased comments on Bush's boorish behavior at the event. If even half of what the former Clinton aide wrote is true, Bush and Rove seem to have a shocking disrespect for both the institution of the presidency, and America in general. If you add up the big picture, the chance exists that we have a president, an administration that secretly hates what this country was founded on.

Is Bush taking GOP on a suicide mission?

The war thing continues to not go so well, with force strength becoming an increasing issue. Between activating a 53-year-old grandfather from near Pittsburgh, to reports that Guard units in training for deployment in Iraq are being mistreated and held incommunicado, I'm really beginning to wonder, despite all the denials, how this military operation can be sustained without the draft. Of course, like overturning Roe v. Wade, the draft is the one land mine that will cause the death of the Republican Party as we know it. So, Republicans have to ask themselves: does Bush care about the future of the Republican Party? If either the draft happens, or Roe v. Wade gets reversed, or both, you know the answer: no.

Starve the beast, kill the children

Shockingly, Superfund is failing. The Washington Post takes about 20 graphs (thumbsucker, anyone?) to get to the point: the Bush Administration pulled the plug on corporate taxes that paid for Superfund cleanups, and now, there's not enough money to clean up the mess. Who suffers the most? Kids.

Apparently, it's okay to kill and sicken kids after they're born. Isn't it amazing that people are more worried about children 10 weeks after conception, then they are four years after birth?

Groping to save America

For such a sexually repressed group, albeit besides Clarence Thomas' porn collection, Antonin Scalia's call for orgies, and RNC officials publicly seeking multiple gay sex partners, the NeoCons certainly seem to be awfully interested in copping a quick feel in the interests of national security. Even the frequently mentally unbalanced Maureen Dowd weighs in, the silicon chip inside her head, apparently, not switched to overload, decrying the humiliation and foolishness of the airport searches.

What's next? Naked Twister at the airport to keep America safe?

Not that there's anything wrong with a little naked Twister, at home, between concenting adults.

Go eat some turkey now, and give the computer some rest.

10 things I am not thankful for this holiday

2004-11-24T09:24:00.000-05:00

I briefly thought I could go all Charlie-Brown-Thanksgiving on you all and talk about all of the things I'm thankful for. But then, I figured, if I put up some kid pictures, a cat picture or two, a recipe for pumpkin pie and a couple of graphs about the pain of mixing career, relationships and the ticking biological timeclock of being a late 20s woman, I'd have written virtually every blog on earth. Okay, every awful blog.

But, hey, I'm not totally without holiday spirit. I'm sure while smoking a cigar and tossing back a Kentucky bourbon or five tomorrow, I'll be thankful for many things, mostly normal things like friends and family, fast cars, a good steak, well-aged Irish whiskey, Cuban cigars and so on.

But I thought it would be fun to list the things I'm not thankful for this year.

1. Four more years. For too many reasons, too many lives that will be cut short, too many liberties that will be restricted, for too much hate that will be endorsed. We dropped the ball and blew this election and need to come to terms with it, recount or not.

2. The let's-move-to-the-right-and-be-like-Republicans movement. I know this is a side product of the ongoing realignment of America into true liberal and conservative parties, but turning into GOP-lite is a sure recipe for disaster. I'm proud of what I believe, just as I'm proud to be a member of the American Civil Liberties Union. If we surrender our core beliefs, it's game over.

3. Continued media consolidation. As great as blogs are, it is disgusting to watch the print and broadcast media turn into a giant pile of Play Doh owned by Rupert Murdoch and censored by the likes of Michael Powell (who is so charming, he makes this list all by himself).

4. The terrorists who stand on street corners in the local county seat, showing giant pictures of aborted fetuses to my pre-school children. God knows, I'm a First Amendment guy, but this is obscene. If our side turned up in the same place with giant pictures of gay sex acts, or even pictures of Iraqi women and childen war dead, we'd be burned at the stake.

5. Activist judges. Instead of interpreting the law, they seek to write the law, and like Torquemada, enforse a strict moral code, not supported by the vast majority. Despite the fact that the right accuses our side of this, it is in fact the right that does this far more often.

6. Christians who hate. Which technically makes them not very Christian at all. This is not most Christians, just a select few. They run the gamut from Jerry Falwell to Bush, to the guy who called me and screamed at me because I'm pro-choice and dared to run for office. Abortion and gay marriage are just reasons to foster hate, and make no mistake, these people are about hate and power, not Christian values of tolerance and love. The Bible is pretty clear about what is going to happen to them, though, which I suppose is good news.

7. People who don't vote. While it's fashionable to blame the media, too many people are more interested in Survivor than what's going on in the world. Then, when little Johnny goes off to Bahgdad and gets his foot blown off, or their job disappears, suddenly they get all angry. If you're not paying attention, you get what you deserve.

8. PETA and other extremist left wing groups. Like Ralph Nader in 2000, our own extremists have allowed the left to shoot itself in the foot more often than not. Spraying paint on people in fur coats isn't helping us, and is making mainstream America hate us. Calm down, have a steak, and starting worrying about things that matter, like having a job, or the right of free speech.

9. Michael Powell. This generation's Joseph McCarthy, has decided to impose his brand of censorship on the U.S. while fighting furiously to speed to consolidation of the media. For too many reasons, a bus can't fall out of the sky and hit this guy soon enough.

10. The war. It's wrong now and it was wrong when it was started by the group of thugs posing as the U.S. government. We continue to kill unarmed women and children, not because our troops are bad, but because they have been placed in an impossible position. More 1,200 of them will never see their families again, and for what? This is an evil war and nothing good ever comes from evil.

Around the world and back

2004-11-23T16:52:00.000-05:00

A meandering mess o' things this fine fall afternoon.

It makes you proud to be an American. It seems our beloved president forgot his buttons and zipper learning book on Air Force One. Classy, as always.

Here's another winner: is the pesky United Nations still pointing out how the U.S. government has become a bunch of international thugs and war criminals? the obvious solution: Toss 'em out. Do you get the increasing sense that most Republicans were the kids in pre-school who would never share the blocks and then whack you in the head when the teacher wasn't looking?

Moving on to local stupidity, this is my favorite graph in a newspaper story in the last couple of weeks:

"The Legislature left town in a snit, leaving the Port Authority and the Southeastern Pennsylvania Transportation Authority of Philadelphia facing 2005 deficits of $30 million and $60 million, respectively."

—Brad Bumsted, Pittsburgh Tribune-Review.

Yup, another group of kids, who, it seems failed out of pre-school.

Hey, fans of the law, guess which state is the only state not to have all of it's laws on-line? Yup, good guess, right here in Pennsyltucky.

Now, if were in Iraq, we could get our laws on line. That makes perfect sense, right?

Triumph over evil

2004-11-23T16:32:00.000-05:00

I will not be denied.

The first Aggressive Progressive Poll is here. Click away.

Mwah ha ha ha ha.

Your Opinion Counts! (Well, not really, but doesn't it feel nice to hear that?)

2004-11-23T10:27:00.000-05:00

Yup...more tinkering as our traffic continues to grow. Yet another new logo, and yes, the first real AggPro poll. Margin of error is plus or minus 107%, so show it the proper respect, like a Pete DeCoursey byline.

In other words, none.

UPDATE: Blogger yanked my poll...no Javascripts allowed, because of spamming issues. The polls will return soon, hosted off line.

Exit polling for fun and profit.

2004-11-22T18:28:00.000-05:00

Just to be obnoxious, I decided to tinker with some polls...just like the prefessional exit polling services.

The colors are obnoxious, but this more of a proof of concept thing, and can be put to truly evil purposes if I'm happy with it from the technical side. Feel free to comment. And yes, I'm working on the bloody banner...I know it needs work.

Pa. Legislature to SE Pa.: drop dead!

2004-11-22T14:03:00.000-05:00

To my national and international readers: As "Tip" O'Neill said "All politics is local." I'm dwelling a bit more on Pennsylvania state politics this afternoon, in part because of all the traffic coming here from PoliticsPa.com, and, frankly, it offers me the opportunity to trash people I know.

Once again, our esteemed state legislature here in Pennsylvania dropped the ball on a number of fronts, especially mass transit and open space protection, once again utterly failing to do it's job.

And while Republican legislative leaders and Gov. Ed Rendell seemed more focused on assigning blame, it does set up an interesting landscape for the next two years, particularly as both parties position themselves for the 2006 gubernatorial election. Some of this mess is the governor's fault — in part because he caved in so badly in the fall of 2003, trading election protection for budget votes. Sam Smith, Bob Jubelirer and the rest of the GOP leadership seemed completely shocked that the governor, to put it bluntly, grew a pair, and held up the pay raise, among other things, if the legislature didn't move forward on solving the mass transit funding crisis, as well as giving voters the chance next May to approve the $800 million Growing Greener II bond issue.

When it became clear Rendell wasn't going to roll over, the mature, esteemed GOP legislative leadership took their ball and went home — 10 days before they had to.

As the first two years of the Rendell Adminsitration haven't been a roaring success, does this finally signal a change in tactics from the Governor's mansion? Has Ed Rendell finally figured out that you can't work with these guys — that they will happily stab him in the back at the first opportunity?

From a personal standpoint, I have to laugh. After getting one of those special protection deals, my opponent in this past year's election, Rep. Brainiac, kept quiet about the governor until the last couple of weeks, before he pulled out his "Bull" Connor costume for Halloween so he revel in a little racially-motivated vote surpression, holding little press conferences to attack Rendell for failing to surpress my voters, and at the same time, refusing to wait until, oh, spring, to count any wayward votes for him.

I guess we'll see in 2005 whether our governor has learned anything about dealing with legislature. If he's smart, though, I know what he wants from Santa this year.

A flame thrower.

Art and cheap shots at Ann Coulter

2004-11-21T20:40:00.000-05:00

I've created a new logo for this blog, further mutating the original Blogger template code, but I'm not sure I like it. Let me know your thoughts.

I'm still taking entries for the human sacrifice thing and I'm proud to say that I remain in the lead as the potential sacrificee. Let's just say it might not be a pretty picture, should I lose. I was intrigued at the Harry Reid suggestion, though. Keep those cards and letters coming.

Finally, I stumbled across this site which completely abuses Ann Coulter. Normally, I don't go in for this sort of thing, but 1. it's funny, and 2. she so deserves it.

Sunday afternoon thrills and chills

2004-11-21T12:46:00.000-05:00

A couple of quickies and, of course, my football pick for the day.

And they say Nixon is dead

"Ooops," say red-faced Republicans. "We accidently tossed a provision into a 3,000-page omnibus bill allowing Congressional committee chairs and their staffs to look at anyone's tax return." And of course, the media is treating it some big mistake. Gosh, not that anyone would use such power for political purposes. Oh, and they promise to repeal it, right away. If you believe that, Erik Estrada wants to sell you some land in Florida.

Twister for Big Kids

Now that Iraq is completely subdued, (Pause for laughter. Now, get up off the floor, dust yourself off, and resume reading) it seems like Bushie is looking for other places to "disremember." So, let's just say, if you had Iran in the "who-will-the-wing-nuts-target-next?" pool, your ticket looks real good.

Football pick

Okay, we won our second straight with the Rams, and then got hammered by supporting the Bills. So now what? What any good Democrat would do: I'm picking the Bills over the Rams. C'mon — it's not as bad as taking Kerry and the points, and we all lost that one.

Never #$%&@ write in anger

2004-11-21T11:24:00.000-05:00

In the movie Groundhog Day, one of the few scenes as funny the whole movies Caddyshack or Stripes is the scene with Bill Murray and the groundhog driving a pickup truck.

"Don't drive angry," Murray says to the groundhog, who if memory serves, promptly drives off a cliff, resetting the scenario again for Murray.

So, basically, I'm violating that rule. I am royally pissed to discover two exciting things this morning: first, the U.S. Senate offered virtually no opposition to the abortion rule changes I discussed yesterday, except to suggest the changes could be revisited next spring, which I guess will happen right after the Tooth Fairy appears before a congressional committee to dicsuss gay marriage; second, the little amendment slipped in when the Senate wasn't looking is called the Weldon Amendment.

As in Curt Weldon, the Pennsylvania congressman whose district is not 15 minutes from my house and who, uh, serves seven of the nine towns in the state house district I just ran in.

Okay, it's not bad enough this guy never does anything in the district except run to court to with my former and future opponent, Rep. Brainiac, to make sure prisioners don't vote. When not involved in festive vote surpression, Weldon does important things like make sure Rev. Sun Myung Moon is delcared the messiah, divert business to his daughter's consulting firm and try to conduct foreign policy without checking with the State Department.

Thankfully, Congressman Dickhead (damn, there goes that angry writing thing again) is now hanging out with the American Taliban, attempting to climb into every American vagina and slap on a lock and key. Yet, this is the same guy that the normally liberal Philadelphia Inquirer endorsed, despite the Moon thing, despite the contracting scandal, despite ignoring the U.S. Constitution and trying to make foreign policy on his own. And now this.

What will it take before the Inquirer and other supposed liberal media outlets begin to looking closely at people like Curt Weldon? Must he lynch an African-American at 400 North Broad Street, right in front of the Inquirer? Would the staff even notice on their way out to the lunch wagons? Would they care?

If they don't care, you need to let them know you do. And if they don't respond, call their big advertisers and complain. The same holds true for every media outlet in this country. If they won't report the news, go after their advertisers. Hit them where it hurts, they don't care about nasty letters to the editor, they care about making their quaterly numbers, they care about making their budget bonus.

Share your pain with them and their wallets.

Lightening the mood with death and mayhem

2004-11-20T14:11:00.000-05:00

News and notes to bring up the mood from my all-serious lefty, pinko post of this morning.

Beat me, whip me, hurt me.

Showing another masochistic streak, I offered to link this Blog to PoliticsPa.com. Should they decide to accept, I'll be left with a choice: do I continue to be nasty, mean and irreverent, including making vicious personal attacks on lame Democrats, and thus, doom any chance I have of ever holding elective office in this fair commonwealth, but dramatically improve the odds of making a living doing this, or do I Prozac up the blog and write political thumbsuckers like Larry Ceisler, kiss up to the powers that be, and basically, sell out, in the hope that my perennial opponent will be discovered committing crimes against nature with three beavers, a parrot and 16 other members of the GOP House Caucus?

Tough choice. Not. Oh well, screw 'em if they can't take a joke.

Limp-wimp conspiracy

We can bay the moon all we want about how badly the media sucks — and yes, it does. The reasons, though, are more complicated than is generally discussed. There's a thousand reasons of why the media sucks: it pays poorly at most levels, so talented people leave (I doubled my salary moving to a magazine, with better hours and vastly better perks, as an example). Media companies have been hacking staff to the bone for 20 years to go from nicely profitable to wildly profitable, meaning fewer people are doing more work.

And let's be honest — a lot of the people still involved are the lowest common denominator types, advanced by corporate lackey editors. Basically, it's reverse Darwinism, survival of the least fit.

The solution, though, is on thousands of blogs like this one. In time, the Wild West atmosphere of anything goes will be replaced by better journalism. Until then, read in volume, blogs provide a better mosaic of the true story than the mass media. Hence, the explosion.

Just wait until video blogging comes a few years down the pike. The mass media as we know it is in its death throes (but doesn't seem to understand it) and a new media will emerge from the wreckage. It's happened before (with television and radio, and even the printing press) and will happen again. The wildfire is about to burn through and kill off all the dead wood.

Home Away from Home

Wow, funny how it turns out that Sen. Ricky Sanitarium doesn't actually live within the commonwealth — and in fact actually lives in Virginia. Now, obviously, he'll buy a new house somewhere in the state, one big enough for his eight kids.

Once again, this illustrates the Republican "rules don't apply to me" thinking that's pervasive from Bushie on down to mental midget I ran against this past year. Rep. Brainiac, under the barely noticable puppet strings of speaker John Perzel, used state money to send out political mailers — and then sent out shockingly similar stuff a week before the election on his own dime, about $19,000 worth of those dimes.

We have to call these guys on this stuff. Where's the media? See above.

How reasonable becomes unreasonable

2004-11-20T10:10:00.000-05:00

And so it begins.

Crammed into the omnibus budget bill is language that would allow federal funding to go to medical providers who will not perform abortions, or even discuss them as a possibility to pregnant women. The language would also stop four states, Hawaii, Maryland, New York and Washington, for paying for abortions through Medicaid funds for some low-income women.

On the surface, such things don't seem so terrible — and one could argue that they are arguable, if you don't see the bigger picture. Like the battle over partial birth abortions — a proceedure done very rarely and only when the mother's life is in danger — this is yet another beachhead for the upcoming assault on Roe. v. Wade. The GOP sold its soul to the devil on this issue, and the bill is immediately coming due.

As it is, the the House is dictating terms to the Senate, something unheard of, and frankly against the design intended by our founding fathers. To stop this, our side is going to have to shut the government down, and they think we don't have the guts to do so.

Shut it down. Stand and fight. We must endure the pain and suffering and fight for what is right.

Shut it all down.

I wish I could write something funny or witty about this, but war is not funny. It is deadly, serious business — and make no mistake — this is a war.

Let's go to war for the soul of this country. They've been fighting us for two decades or more. This time has come to respond in kind.

Wow, lot's of traffic. Let's kill someone.

2004-11-19T17:39:00.000-05:00

In a little over two weeks, your little troll friends here at The AggPro have managed to get more than 1000 hits, with things really picking up this week.

In appreciation, we'd like to have a ceremonial human sacrifice. Obviously, we're not really going to kill anyone (hey, don't make me come back there), but it will be the Web/Blog version of a VooDoo doll.

Now, here's the part where you come in. Nominate our prospective victim and why he/she should get the honor. Who(m)ever gets the most votes by one week from today (11/26/04, midnight EST) uh, wins the honor. Evil, nasty graphics will be involved. And look, George W. Bush is just too bloody obvious. Impressive me with your creativity and/or obsessive desire to get revenge on your favorite local Neo-con.

Obviously, suggestions of my opponent in this month's elections (do some bloody research and figure it out: clues — French wine, Neo-Con, Chester and Delaware counties ) will be viewed as blatant sucking up, and thus, embraced warmly.

You can email your suggestion to mike@theaggressiveprogressive.com or just be a lazy weasel and post them as comments.

All judge's decisions are final, unless bribes are involved.

Thank you.

The Management (such as it is).

Learning to love the Morality Police

2004-11-19T09:16:00.000-05:00

Fresh off their newly stolen, uh, I mean, won "mandate" our pals in the Republican Party are working hard to stamp out immorality in America. Thank God. We really need to step up and support our President, to help stamp out the evildoers, especially if we happen to be them ourselves.

Just so we're clear on the Good and Bad: I've worked up a little primer for those of us who just can't make the GOP moral cut these days. You might want to print it out and keep it in your wallet, just in case you get confused.

Good, Moral and Ethical:

• Killing innocent women and children in Fallujah and lying about why we're at war.
• Cutting employer tax incentives for health insurance.
• Allowing a Congressman under indictment to serve as Majority Leader.
• Vote rigging.
• Allowing unsafe drugs on the market, knowing they can kill.
• Republican Party leaders seeking random gay sex.
• Republican Supreme Court Justice calling for sex orgies to relieve stress.
• Expansion of the world heroin supply.
• Arlen Specter's abortion position of the day.
• Sticking your town and taxpayers with the costs of GOP fundraising.
• Nuking the economy to help your buddies.

Bad, Immoral, and Unethical:

• A white woman showing her naked back in front of an African-American football player on TV.
• Showing Saving Private Ryan on TV.
• An Interstate Highway named I-69.
• Separation of church and state.
• Bill Clinton.

See, now isn't that simple? I know I feel better.

Satan and those GOP swingers

2004-11-18T14:29:00.000-05:00

If you read the left-wing blogosphere (I'd read the right-wing ones, but I really, really hate black Crayola, especially al lthe smudges I get on my computer screen), you might be under the impression that Karl Rove is the prince of darkness, the one and only Satan.

Not that I'm one to propagate such falsehoods (or give the Rovemiester that much credit), but it can be fun to salve our collective lefty, pinko wounds by poking fun and wandering through the outer fringes of left-wing paranoia (as opposed to Buffalo-wing paranoia which involves small green specks in the wing sauce). Now, this not to be confused with the Vince of Darkness, who has merely sold his soul to Satan, in my humble opinion, but is also nominally a Democrat here in Pennsylvania. No, people around the world are now convinced that Rove, much like his spiritual ancestor Rasputin, is The Evil One.

Well, I admit it is fun, but keeps us from pondering the really deep topics, such as:

The real reason the GOP wants to ban gay marriage
(and secretly wants to ban ALL marriage):

It's so heartwarming to watch our U.S. Senator Rick Sanatorium argue in favor of a Constitutional ban on gay marriage: to protect our families. Because, as you know, everytime I turn around, there's a gay guy in my living room proposing to me, or a lesbian in the kitchen hitting on my wife. Thank God for little Ricky. No one can find jobs, inflation is about to explode, our troops are dying in a pointless war, and the U.S. Constitution has been turned into so much confetti: but, whew, now I don't have to worry about a bull dyke sneaking into my house via the pet door and spiriting off my wife.

Much like the Clean Skies Act allowed vastly more pollution, these people want who are claiming they want "Marriage Protection" not only want to ban marriage between two men or two women, or three women, a man and a Ford pickup: they want to ban all of it. Yours, mine, straight, gay or open. Toast City.

No more nagging, whining women asking "when are we going to get married." No more deadbeat dads. And apparently, based on revelations from within the Republican National Committee: tons and tons of wild gay sex with no strings, or for you straight party poopers, as Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia suggests, one giant orgy after another.

Sneaky bastards, aren't they?

Tweak-city

2004-11-18T13:33:00.000-05:00

Once again I dipped into the old HTML/CSS sack and made some changes to the eponymous template I, uh, snagged from Blogger. It's still not as hip as I'd prefer, but I hate spending all morning hand coding any more than I have to.

Thankfully, DanT made his AggPro debut this a.m. to keep the lovalicious text flow going.

Check back this afternoon when I ask the crucial question: Is Karl Rove Satan? And other interesting explanations for the Gay Marriage Ban.

Keep making those snotty comments, as we thrive from your sweet, sweet love.

RINO Hunting

2004-11-18T10:00:00.000-05:00

Yesterday, on CNN's American Morning I had the pleasure of spotting one of the most endangered species in Washington today: a moderate Republican. Representative Chris Shays (CT-4) is considered one of the more liberal Republicans in Congress, he's pro-choice, pro-the arts, pro-environment, pro-gun control, pro- well, you get the idea. For the modern Republican Party (did I cross the line with that one?) Shays is FDfreakinR. Nevermind that he gets horrible ratings from the NEA, NAACP, ACLU and is beloved by the Chamber of Commerce and Americans for Tax Reform - he doesn't like guns and likes abortion, that means he's a moderate.

Anyway, Mr. Shays (look, I'm the New York Times!) began his interview in that biting, maverick fashion of, well, Maverick, and took a shot at his own party (!) by saying the CIA should not be a partisan outfit. Wow, he's just firing at the GOP with both guns! See, these are the sort of Republicans we need in Washington, they transcend parties they.... wait, let's see the rest of his comments. Porter Goss is doing a great job! So did Tom Ridge! And Condi will be super! Hmm... that sounds pretty, umm, party line.

But of course, that's what you expect from a "moderate" Republican, isn't it? I'm going to suggest we stop using such a ludicrous phrase as moderate Republican and begin calling them what they are: cowards. If you think that rhetoric is a little harsh, let's take a stroll through the daisies with these RINOs. Of course you have the great Lincoln Chaffee, the man who disagrees with the President on everything and yet, is still going to hang around because switching parties would make him sad. Joining him are Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins, the Senators from Maine, who, like Chaffee, are fond of sounding moderate when it helps but still gladly make Bill Frist Senate Majority Leader. There's Arlen Specter, but I think we've all dumped on him enough, there's Rudy! who made the great contribution of blaming Al QaQaa on the troops, there's Ahnald who dutifully used the RNC to promote the Christian Right agenda, and of course there's the shame of the nation, John McCain.

Somehow, McCain became known as something other than a right-wing idiot, perhaps because of campaign finance reform, perhaps because he's willing to be bi-partisan. But has McCain ever been anything other than a shameless Republican schill who attacks his party to score points that he can then use to promote the Republican party? After stabbing John Kerry in the back, McCain has decided to move on to a new hobby: helping purge the CIA and complaining that they weren't being kind to the President.

Now, if you're a Republican, I'm not saying there's anything wrong with embracing these folk. But how us Democrats can is shocking. And yet, plenty of Democrats voted for Arlen Specter, and plenty of them voted for John McCain and Chris Shays this year. Well, in two years, we need to stop playing nice just because some of these people like abortion and go after them. Ben Nelson is pretty damn conservative, and you better believe that Republicans are gearing up to take him out. So I'd like to recommend Target Number Two (#1 is Slick Rick) for November 2006: Lincoln Chaffee. It's time we play like this game matters.

A note to our readers: all politics isn't boring

2004-11-17T16:04:00.000-05:00

Thanks to the nice people at BlogExplosion, a surprising number of people are coming to this site. Some seem to be enjoying it, which is great. Some, though, see it is about politics, and say, basically "yuck."

Let me be straight about this: this blog is really about indulging meanness (mine) and getting money (some that others have that I want to be mine). If in the process of fulfilling those two goals, I happen to mention that the president is twit or that it would be nice if a bus fell on Tom Daschle (which it kind of did on Election Day), well, that's just a coincidence.

Undoubtedly, I'd get more readers with picture of naked kittens, or better, naked kittens falling into a running blender (mmmm, frozen kitty margaritas), but, a: I was stupid enough to make my living for nearly a decade writing about politics; b: I was and am stupid enough to run for public office; c: exploding kittens just aren't that much fun after the first 50 or so times.

So, basically, if you don't like this site, write snide comments. Or send in your favorite obscene pictures of yourself, so I can post them on the web and make a ton of money, quit politics, and I'll write about who's about to get voted off the island on Survivor (which is really, really cruel, because I've never watched the show and don't plan to).

So basically, if you think about it, if you don't like this blog, it's all your fault.

There. Now don't you feel better?

Morning snippets of snideness

2004-11-17T09:24:00.000-05:00

So much material, so little time.

No Roach Hotel For Tommy-Boy — yet

You have to love Tom DeLay, the Buginator, for having the stones to get the U.S. House to change its rules so he can keep his leadership position while under indictment. Better yet, he has the unending support of congressman Joe Pitts, whose district literally surrounds my town (thanks to gerrymandering), saying that despite the indictment (and some pretty clear indications of breaking the law, multiple times, despite the rather weak claims that the prosecution is politically motivated) that DeLay's conduct was just fine because he won a bunch of congressional seats in Texas, and strenthened the GOP's stranglehold on the house.

Nice guy, that Pitts, who literally is, by the way. He's the guy who pushed through a child labor exemption for the Amish, which means its okay for six-year-old to operate bandsaws and make furniture. Of course, what do you expect from a guy who celebrated Sept. 11 by hosting a $1,000 a couple yacht outing?

Surprise: vote fraud in Florida

In addition to the recount in Ohio which looks like a stone-cold lock today, that avenging grandmother, Bev Harris, claims at BlackBoxVoting.org to have turned up evidence of vote tampering in Florida. Shocking? Hardly. Of course, the fact that the GOP appears to have bungled covering their tracks, making them look like a bunch of hamburglars, is richly entertaining. This is one to keep an eye on, though.

Coalition government fails, Neo-Cons take over

Well, it's here. Dick Cheney's wet-dream: an all Neo-Con government (assuming the Ohio and Florida vote things don't blow up in the near term), with the last of the old-time Republicans out of the government. If it weren't so scary, it'd be funny. Imagine if you will, if the Nazi's from Hogan Heroes took over the government. That's basically the level of intellect we're dealing with. One problem: we lack a smart-ass leader capable of running circles around them. Nancy Pelosi? Right. Harry Reid? Just shoot me. We need Thomas P. "Tip" O'Neill to come back from the hereafter (oh, damn, I just remembered, we pagan Democrats don't believe in Heaven, or God, or anything like that, so I guess we're out of luck) kick some elephant butt.

No Surrender.

Just because we got battered on the federal level doesn't mean we can't keep on fighting. A good example is here in delightful Chester County, Pa. Our local Democratic county commissioner, Andy Dinniman, is holding the majority Republican commissioner’s feet to the fire on the issue of tax hikes, in this case tax hikes as a result of the poor management of the Republican elected officials. It's going to get public and ugly next week, and I applaud Andy Dinniman for taking up this fight.

We all must keep fighting. We can't let defeat from building upon what we did this year. If we're smart, we can turn defeat into victory in the coming years, through hard work, using our anger intelligently, and by kicking a little butt when the opportunity arises.

Seen on eBay: Democratic Party soul for sale

2004-11-16T09:47:00.000-05:00

There's an entertaining debate on Daily Kos about the upcoming Democratic Party civil war, in this case played out as the Howard Dean versus Tom Vilsack battle for chair of the Democratic National Committee.

But a lot of that debate focuses too much on a battle of two personalities, and not enough on the greater battle being played out in state and county Democratic parties around the country, thousands of tiny battles for the soul of the party.

In my own suburban county, just outside of Philadelphia, we're in the process of the same sort of battle. While the players involved, myself included, don't break out along the same sort of Dean-Vilsack divide, there is a clear divide. Our local battle is over the future of the party, and who that future is. Much like the national party, we have two groups, one defined by the status quo, another as new, passionate activists.

The old-timers (and their minions) have fought us tooth and nail to change a failing atmosphere and begin to build a real organization county-wide. Despite that, we've built some pretty cool things over the last few years — and yet there are people who still want to return to the bad old days. We all worked for Kerry, despite the fact that most of us activists weren't enthralled by him.

What I think is being missed is the impact of the new people, not just those who have become activists in the last couple of years, but those brought into the process this year. Further failure is not going to be accepted, and change is coming, regardless of which side wins out.

The powers that be must accept this change, or the fight for this change will set our party, and our cause back many years.

Wing-nuts to moderates: get out of the GOP!

2004-11-15T18:52:00.000-05:00

Drunken with power from their Election Day romp through the daisies, conservative Republicans have a simple message for party members who do not follow the party line lock-step: get out.

If you don't want to register with the Dallas Morning News, here is the quote:

"If they can't agree and support the president and the platform, then they ought to go over to the Democrats," said Jan LaRue, chief counsel for the conservative group Concerned Women for America, in a story in today's Dallas Morning News.

Later in the story, just in case you missed her meaning, she went onto attack Arlen Specter (but then again, who hasn't attacked Arlen Specter lately?), calling Specter a RINO (Republican In Name Only) and asking why he and Sen. Lincoln Chafee of Rhode Island stay Republican.

"Get real," she said. "These are Democrats in Republican clothing."

So basically, if you support choice on abortion, get out. Support stem cell research? Get out. See gay marriage as a civil rights issue rather than a blasphemy? Get out. In short, the Republican Party has a big tent, if you agree exactly with the conservatives. Otherwise, get out.

"If you read the platform, it's clearly a pro-life party," the News quoted Tom Minnery, vice president of public policy for the conservative Christian group Focus on the Family. "I'm sure anybody is welcome to be a Republican as long as they understand the direction the party is headed in."

Off a cliff, it looks. Lemmings: march on!

Olbermann shot, Patrick on the run

2004-11-15T13:01:00.000-05:00

This just in to the Screaming Paranoia Network:

As part of the massive right-wing lock down on mainstream reporting of vote fraud in the recent election, MSNBC's Keith Olbermann was fired mid-show on Friday, and then shot repeatedly as he attempted to leave the Secaucus studios of the media defense contractor front network. Riddled with bullets, the former ESPN anchor was run down, after crawling to an access road near Route 3 by a group of angry Jets fans despondent over their anticipated loss to Baltimore in overtime on Sunday. A swarm of black helicopters incinerated Olbermann's broken body on the roadside using napalm.

Dan Patrick, Olbermann's former co-host on SportsCenter, was seen fleeing the Bristol, Conn. headquarters of ESPN late Friday night. Shortly after, Rob Dibble's mutilated body was found in a closet with the words "Bush will not stand" carved in his forehead. Initially, the reference was thought to relate to an ongoing argument about the merits of infielder Homer Bush, but as word got out about the Olbermann firing/attack/incineration, local investigators put 2 and 2 together and got 5 as usual. Patrick is considered armed and dangerous, with a ton of his unsold books filling his late-model European sports sedan.

Here at SPN, our network sources tell us this entire report is true, or Olbermann is on vacation and we made the rest up. More on this as it develops or our drugs kick in. Now back to our regularly scheduled show: CSI: Celebrity Dog Poker, already in progress.

Powell's bailing, shocking, eh?

2004-11-15T09:57:00.000-05:00

The big breaking news story this morning is the fact that Colin Powell is hitting the road and won't be part of the second Bush Administration.

Aside from the fact that this probably means Condi Rice will be the new Secretary of State (more on that in a minute) it is sort of a sad ending for a man who under different circumstances might have been a good leader.

At a crucial juncture, though, Powell overruled his instincts for what was right, and sold his soul on the whole "Weapons of Mass Destruction" issue. Sadly, his speech to the United Nations will be how history remembers, and derides, him. For the sake of both the country and his reputation, Powell would have been better off saying what he really thought at the time, instead of toeing the line, trying to regain lost power.

One by one, the cabinet positions are being filled by people blindly loyal to Bush, and now with Rice the presumed nominee at State, the CIA being purged (Stalin-style) of non-Bush loyalists, sadly, all of the pieces are falling into place for our Democracy to come to an end in 2008, if not sooner. I'm not saying it's going to happen, but is it really that hard to imagine Bush, Rice, Goss, Rumsfeld, et al. manufacturing a national crisis to prevent the peaceful turnover of power in 2008 and the lapdog corporate media buying into it?

It is a sad commentary that such a scenario is now even slightly plausable.

Bush, the anti-Christ and sex

2004-11-14T13:41:00.000-05:00

If you've got a month or so of free time, just type Bush and anti-Christ in Google.com...if you're disappointed by the outcome of the election, it might offer you some comfort.

Not that I'd ever say that George W. Bush is the anti-Christ (sources tell me he's not) but you know, there are worse things you could do than spend a few weeks looking at pictures of G.W. Bush with devil horns. The evidence of Bush's anti-Christdom is sketchy (admittedly, kind of like the case for his being elected in 2000) although at times, at least, thoughtfully presented.

Other evidence, though, seems to prove nothing more than Bush's college football loyality.

There are of course, other interesting theories about who the anti-Christ actually is.

But anyone who has small children, though, knows the truth.

But if you really want to see an entertaing live show, show this to your favorite fundamentalist Christian from the right-wing Freeper site WorldNetDaily. It's a recent new translation of the New Testament in which God tells us to create world peace, basically, by um, cranking up the Barry White, and getting down with somebody else's bad self. Interestingly, that's a lot like (as reported here, earlier) Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia suggesting that it would relieve pressure if people engaged in getting down with a number of other people's bad selves. At the same time, no less.

As long as those other selves aren't, in fact, Barney.

Bring me my tin-foil chapeau!

2004-11-14T10:54:00.000-05:00

The damnest thing: this whole vote fraud thing isn't going away, as hard as the mainstream media is trying to make it do so. Humble blogazoids like yours truly keep pulling out our tin-foil hats and digging in, although admittedly, I had to be dragged kicking and screaming to the party, now I'm dancing with the best of them.

Here's what's new on this Sunday morning:

•BlackBoxVoting has a complete update on its efforts in a number of states, and now you can add New Mexico and Nevanda to Ohio, Florida and New Hampshire as states where investigations are now underway.

•In Ohio, which looks to be the flashpoint of voter issues, both the Green and Libertarian parties appear ready to pony up the roughly $110,000 required for a full recount, while Secretary of State Ken (I've had less plastic surgery than Katherine Harris) Blackwell decided suddenly not to trash a bunch of provisional ballots on a technicality not supported by state law, according to the Akron Beacon-Journal. Plus, the lawsuits are popping up. Despite public denials, very quietly, sources tell me the Democratic Party is working behind the scenes to see how blatant the vote theft was — and whether it can be exposed and overturned in Ohio. Stay tuned.

•John Zogby, among the most accurate pollsters in the nation, posted this third-person account on his website without comment. It a very interesting read if you happen to be a numbers freak — just about how unlikely the Florida result seems to be. The fact that Zogby would even allow something that suggests voter fruad makes me think he feels it is at least possible — a major admission from a credible source.

Football picks:

Okay, would-be political ops: take that swag you won last week betting hard on the Steelers and take the points and the Rams, as well as the points and the Bills. What, more underdogs? Of course. I'm a Democrat.

Happy Times at the CIA

2004-11-13T10:45:00.000-05:00

Big doin's at the CIA, with new director Porter Goss, basically screwing the pooch.

Will the last credible analyst please shut out the lights when you leave?

Thanks.

Why the media sucks.

2004-11-13T10:18:00.000-05:00

There used to be whole days when I didn't miss the old "Media Whores" web site, which has been in cryogenic freeze for nearly a year. With everything that has gone on in the last few days, though, I can rarely go more than a few minutes without wishing it were back to offer a real bitch-slapping to some of our mainstream media outlets.

After The Washington Post and NBC trashed bloggers for daring the question the vote totals and whether his Orneryness was truly elected, now The New York Times, which in only a few years has gone from the paper of record to less interesting and less accurate than the Weekly World News, has jumped on the pile, consigning the blogoshpere to the looney bin.

Aside from Keith Olbermann at MSNBC, who continues to look at the subject in a restrained, thorough and responsible way, there's been little else on the Ohio vote issue in the mainstream press. Except, oddly, the Moonies and the once-proud United Press International are reporting on serious software issues with, surprise, the Diebold voting machines.

But not the Times or the Post. According to them, we're supposed to trust that the voting was honest and properly counted. Let's set aside the fact that the Bush Administration has lied, frankly, too many times to count, so much Nixon would blush.

Let's talk about fundamental lies just involving the voting technology. As someone who makes his living from technology, I've been amazed at the lies Diebold and other companies have gotten away with. It seems most political writers lack even a basic understanding of technology, and fail to question some pretty obvious lies.

Right now, it looks like there may have to be a revote in North Carolina, because there's no paper trail and a number of the machines barfed up bad code. Of course, according to Diebold, it was impossible to create a paper trail for electronic voting. And no one, from the aluminum hat kids at the Post or the Times questioned that.

Except for the minor fact that Diebold already makes a number of machines capable of generating a perfectly good paper trail. ATM machines being the best example. But here's a frightening thought: those little credit card machines, that cost all of $700, do the same thing. All you'd need is a little printer that spits out a bar code and a vote number, which would then get tossed in the ballot box, much like punch cards or some of the scanning sheets used in many states.

But, of course, that was impossible.

And they say comedy is dead.

2004-11-12T16:10:00.000-05:00

Not to harp on the plight of Arlen Specter...Okay, I'm harping, just because it is fun.

Anyway, when I first saw this site, I honestly thought this was a parody news site, because, you know, when you read it, it's funnier than The Onion. Brought to you by the geniuses who worked to get Pat Toomey elected to the U.S. Senate, it is an unabashed attack on the senior Senator from Pennsylvania from the right. It's the same kind of brain-tumor-enhanced thinking that brings us The Club for Growth, every Democrat political operative's wet dream.

And you know, I have to admit some sympathy, because I was openly rooting for Toomey in the primary. Why? Because Joe Hoeffel would have cleaned his clock.

But this wing-nut, Specter-is-Satan Web site is just hilarious. It's going to be fun watching the freepers attack ol' Arlen, while we get ready to run Rick Sanitorium out of office in two years, and see how they reconcile it when they need ol' "single bullet theory" to help get little Ricky back in the U.S. Senate.

All for Bush, and Bush for himself

2004-11-12T09:39:00.000-05:00

Thank you so much, Senior Majority Leader Bill Frist for attemping to destroy 220-plus years of U.S. government history and for suggesting it is time to undo the chacks and balances designed by our forefathers. Put briefly, he wishes to dismantle the rights of the Democrats to fillibuster, despite the fact that they have 44 seats, four more than needed to continue fillibusters against radical judges nominated by G.W. Bush.

Here's a basic truth: want to avoid fillibusters? Then get 61 Republican senators — that's a mandate. 55 ain't a mandate — and those radical left-wing framers of the U.S. Constitution thought it would be a good idea for the minority party, especially when the ruling party has far from a mandate, to have some power.

That's the American way, Bill. Even the minority party gets a voice. Even the 55 million people whop didn't vote for Bush get some say in how things go down.

Bill, I've gotta ask you: why do you hate America?

Disclaimer: That last link was probably over the top. But who can resist mixing Hitler and the Teletubbies and right wing-paranoia?

Missing the point and bad journalism

2004-11-11T15:38:00.000-05:00

Today's Washington Post has an interesting, if not entirely fact-based attack on "Screaming Mimi" bloggers concerning the questions about the election.

Aside from the premise, which is flawed, again as is becoming more commonplace in the titans of current journalism, the piece is rife with opinion of the reporters who declare that the bloggers assertation have no basis in fact.

Maybe the claims are bogus, but that's not the point, something totally missed, but which makes the story a real thumb-sucker, as we used to call it on the City Desk, and I'll return to in a minute.

Aside from missing the point in a Columbia Journalism School Ivory Tower fashion, this report violates a number of basic tenants of responsible, thorough journalism:

1. The story lacks anything resembling objectivity and draws conclusions before even addressing the alleged facts of the story.
2. It fails to talk to any of the bloggers, while in essence, trashing them, something most reporters at community newspapers know not to do.
3. While dimissing the claims, it then proceeds to fail to totally discount any of the theories, or in fact, prove any of the opinions expressed in the first four graphs of the story.

So at best, Herb, my old journalism professor would have been hard pressed to give this report a "D" if turned in by a college student, yet it here is appearing in one of the nation's most respected newspapers.

Now, let's address the real story here, missed so horribly by the alleged reporters in question: not whether or nor there's any validity to the claims, which should have been addressed skeptically, but in reporting both sides of the story, but the fact that so many people feel so disenfranchised by George W. Bush's election, that they cannot come to terms with the idea that he was fairly elected. The trust of the system is now broken for a lot of people, broken largely by the results of 2000 and the record of dishonesty of the Bush Administration.

This fact, not my opinion, but proven by the sheer number of sites obsessed by this subject in the blogosphere, represents a major challenge for the Bush Administration, not helped by the declaration of a mandate. Circumstance may well have created a somewhat disloyal opposition, the consequences of which none of us can completely predict.

That's the story, but sadly one missed completely by a beltway-focused, biased writer, and sanctioned by what was one of the great newspapers in America, and spread to dozens of papers around the county and the world via the Washington Post wire service.

Put them on notice. This is inacceptable and the ombudsman of the paper should be contacted at ombudsman@washpost.com.

Make 'em pay

2004-11-11T13:27:00.000-05:00

If like me, you live in a community dominated by a certain ruling party, you might be frustrated at whom the local business community seems like a wholly owned subsidiary of the GOP.

But there are things you can do about it, and it's high time you did, don't you think?

Don't bring them your business. If these businesses are going to aid and abet both George W. Bush and the local Republican Party, vote with your pocketbook. I live in a county with 100,000 Democrats and the local business community treats us badly. Like we'd-all-have-to-go-around-wearing-yellow-stars-for-it-to-be-worse-badly.

How you go about it, depends on a couple of factors: one is how your local newspaper covers things. If your local paper stops just short of being a party organ (or in the case of my county, doesn't stop even remotely short), start picketing. No, not at the newspaper, they won't care.

Pick out a big car dealership, or a supermarket that advertises in said party organ, and gather a dozen or so friends and picket the entrance. Show up without warning on a Saturday morning, often the busiest time of the week for these businesses. Use your imagination for the signs, but "This Store supports biased journalism. Please don't shop here." works for a start. Be polite but insistient.

As a former newspaper reporter, editor and owner, I can tell you the first thing that these businesses will do is call the newspapers screaming bloody murder. As selling advertising is difficult enough, continued protests give prospective clients a strong reason to say "no."

You'll be amazed how quickly a newspaper changes its tune when the bottom line is threatened, especially those owned by large corporations. Right now, the business community pressures them to toe the GOP line. It's time to put some pressure on them from the other side to make the game fairer.

Okay, once you have the newspaper fixed, go after the local Chamber of Commerce, if like in my county, it acts like an arm of the Republican Party. Announce a boycott of chamber members and watch businesses drop out like Nader getting knocked of state ballots.

The bottom line is, well, the bottom line. They think nothing of doing it to us, so it's time to stop being nice and strike back.

Torture for fun and profit

2004-11-10T17:08:00.000-05:00

I guess Alberto Gonzalez isn't the worst possible pick for Attorney General, despite a history of both ignoring due process and favoring torture for prisoners.

It's kind of sad, of course, that someone with so little respect for the U.S. Constitution and the Geneva Convention could be considered a better pick than some of the others that have been floating around out there.

I'm of two minds on the confirmation process, but my bud DanT offered up an intriguing suggestion: roast 'em throughout the hearings, unload all of the dirty laundry, and then let the Republicans vote to approve, while the Democrats abstain. No obstruction, just some nasty media. make Specter, Collins, Snowe and Company go on the record supporting torture, or when Rehnquist meets Arafat in the hereafter for a game of handball, make them vote for an anti-choice judge or two.

Maybe, just maybe, we need to let the Republicans have everything they claim to want. Let 'em have Roe v. Wade. Give them all of the things the far right wants without a fight. Let everything go to hell in a handbasket, and then we might see the end of the Republican Party as we know it.

Let them completely screw the people of this country, after all they voted for it. Maybe that's the best voter education program possible.

Lovin' the bad boys

2004-11-10T09:41:00.000-05:00

I remember back when I attended college, being amazed at how women seemed to like guys who treated them badly. Maybe I'm odd, but I never tried to juggle two women at once (juggling chainsaws, sure, but never women, that's just too dangerous), but watched in amazement as other guys did it — and even worse things and women just seemed to eat it up.

I knew one guy who cheated relentlessly on his girlfriend (and she knew), and treated the women he cheated with badly, often just jerking their chains for fun. Did it lead to grief? No, of course not, it just led to more women being attracted to him. Even now, I know of a couple of serial womanizers, in politics, and their wives seem to be accepting this with a Stepford-like acquiesence.

I bring this up because I think I know how John Kerry feels, now that women's groups are trying to explain how and why their members didn't step up and support him. I think there's a parallel between my college experiences and the fact that Kerry just didn't get the kind of support from women one might expect.

Based on the facts, it's a slam dunk. Kerry's not threatening the right to choose, not sending anyone's sons or daughters in harms way for no good reason, not reducing opportunity, especially for women. Yet, a larger segment of women than in recent years failed to vote for their own interests.

He's also not dangerous, whereas Bushie is kind of the like the constantly drunk frat boy who seems to be crashing his dad's Corvette through a fence. There's a segment of the female population that just can't resist these bad boys, call it the Emilio Estevez/Charlie Sheen factor. Emilio mostly stays out of trouble, seems sensitive and can't buy a decent job. Brother Charlie, hangs out with hookers, has a drug problem, treats his women poorly (allegedly) and keeps getting TV shows.

We benefitted from the same issue in the Clinton years, and even in 2000 when Al Gore appeared to be more bad-ass than that wimpy Bushie. At it took was a little "schlock and awe," a winsome grimmace and a few hundred billion in debt, and the Prez might as well be on the cover of Tiger Beat.

Once again, it's easier to explain particle physics than how some women think.

You won't have ol' Ashcroft to kick around anymore

2004-11-09T21:30:00.000-05:00

It would be such good news, if it weren't so darn frightening. John Ashcroft is resigning as Attorney General.

While it's good to be rid of a mediocre singer who once lost an election to a dead man, not to mention his utter trampling of the U.S. Constitution, fear strikes into my heart as who to G.W. Bush (okay, Dick Cheney) will pick as the new AG. Undoubtedly, there has to be someone worse than Ashcroft out there.

Satan is probably out, as even the U.S. Senate as currently comprised would give him a hard time on confirmation, plus he's really busy with all of those new Republican souls he purchased last week, making space, clearing out old inventory (in fact Tammy Faye Bakker's soul is available on eBay, right now) and so on.

Hitler might be a choice, as it shows here how he and the smirking chimp are kind of compatible, but between being dead and with Chuck Schumer in the U.S. Senate, he seems an unlikely choice. Of course, there's Cheney, but since he's already vice president, well, probably not. As you know, Osama Bin Laden never passed the bar, so I think Specter might have an issue with it.

Most of the really frightening people, like Justice "Let's get down and have an orgy" Scalia are on the Supreme Court, so I'm just dumbfounded.

Undoubtedly, there is someone so reprehensible it makes any mortal's skin crawl left, but I just can't think of it.

My God! Is Ann Coulter an attorney?

With divorce, the Amish always suffer

2004-11-09T16:16:00.000-05:00

For those of you who thought I might be going for the overly dramatic when I suggested that the events of the last 10 days might lead to a civil war, here's a wing nut (thanks to Dailykos for pointing this one out) who wants to toss out all of the states who don't seem to conform with their vision of America.

Of course, they want to toss out New York and California, home of to such noted left-winger losers as Ronald Reagan and Rudy Guiliani, and that radical left-wing hotbed New Jersey, from which hail Underground terrorists Christie Whitman and Tom Kean. And of course, Delaware, as we all know DuPont was flying that plane that crashed into the World Trade Center.

What pisses me off, though, is that they actually want to keep Pennsylvania in this new United States of Facism. Evidently, we're not trying hard enough to make that lefty, pinko cut. I am now calling for concerned liberals to committ unnatural acts against — gasp — the Amish. Of course, the sweet thing about using the Internet to go after the Amish is that they'll never see it coming.

As far as what unnatural acts, I leave it to your discretion, but I plan to buy a bullhorn and read the Drudge Report (now would I really link to the real Drudge Report? C'mon. Seriously.) to them. Frankly, that's about as unnatural an act as I can think of right now.

Hurts so good

2004-11-09T10:04:00.000-05:00

I'm noticing an interesting dichotomy in the lefty blogosphere in the last few days: one side (mine) wants to start being a lot less nice to the Neo-Cons and their Republican enablers, while another side wants to appease the other side, make nice and start focusing on "moral issues."

In case the name of this blog doesn't clue you in, I'm pretty clear on the stop making nice side of things. Yes, I hate negative ads, but I also know they work, and the only way...the only way...the other side is going to stop is if they start to suffer some of the same collateral damage that our candidates have suffered since 1980. We can't be using pillows in a fight against people toting uzis.

Lock and load, friends.

A modern Diogenes

2004-11-09T09:14:00.000-05:00

Who'd have thought that Keith Olbermann would turn out to be the voice of responsible journalism?

For the second straight day, his blog, talks both about what appear to be voting irregularlities, and more interestingly, the general lack of coverage of them. His segment last night on Countdown, largely a rehash of his blog, interestingly, was solid, clean and well-reported. His questioning of congressman John Conyers was particualrly strong. Either Olbermann is channelling Murrow or the suits at MSNBC are trying a new tact for separating themselves from CNN and Fox News: straight, honest reporting.

We'll see.

Uh oh. Media reporting voter oddities

2004-11-08T14:15:00.000-05:00

While tons of blogs have reported voting no-nos in states around the county, the mainstream media is beginning to jump on the story in Ohio and Florida. Keith Olbermann, the lone MSNBC host capable of semi-interesting television, is going to go after voting irregularities that exploded around the blogosphere the last few days.

Is it possible that a journalist is going to act like, well, a journalist?

Personally, having abandoned journalism after a decade as a reporter and editor myself because of an increasing requirement that reporters make the facts fit the story the editors want, either to sell papers, or destroy someone they don't like, I'm amazed how often the media didn't live up to my own poor opinion of it. A decade later, it's even worse.

There isn't a day I don't see tears running down the poster of Edward R. Murrow in my office — but maybe this Olbermann guy makes some of us proud.

Maybe nothing wrong happened, maybe a ton of Democrats voted for Bush. But somebody needs to ask these questions if we have any hope of having a functional democracy. And it can't just be bloggers.

Tough-guy Arlen backs down to fundies

2004-11-08T13:42:00.000-05:00

Wow...it sure didn't take long for Pennsylvania's senior U.S. Senator to, um, squeal like a little piggy (conforting to know the original cast of Deliverance is running the White House) after his post-Election Day warning to Widdle Bush not to be sending him any anti-choice judicial nominees.

In a matter of days, Specter has gone from vowing to protect Roe v. Wade, to saying he'd consider anti-choice nominees, to basically falling to the ground and begging Karl Rove to let him still be chair of the Senate Judiciary Committee and that now he'd consider abortion clinic bombers for the high court. I'm sure that had nothing to do with a number of fundamentalist groups organizing to keep Specter from heading judiciary.

So, let's just check the scorecard really quick: first darlin' Arlen whipped it out and drenched the fundies, who then, ironically, became really pissed off. Now, every moderate Republican or gulliable Democrat who voted for our beloved (cough, cough) senior senator now must realize what an awful, horrible mistake they made on Election Day.

In the words of John Belushi in Animal House: "You fucked up. You trusted us."

Tell me that's not really the official motto of the Bush Administration. It certainly isn't "Knowledge is Good."

From deep in the grassy knoll

2004-11-07T10:57:00.000-05:00

Buzz continues to build in the lefty blogs, like DailyKos, Democrats.com and so on, that Florida's vote may have been rigged. As much as I belong to the "we lost, get over it, and fix our problems wing of the party" the growing evidence is, well, at least compelling.

The whole thing with the optical scanner issue smells bad. Whether there is a whole hell of a lot any of us can do about it remains to be seen.

By the way, it looks like the lefties (like yours truly) and the DLC'rs (such as my bud, DanT) are headed for a death match over the future of the party. There's a whole "should Howard Dean be the next chair of the Democratic Party?" argument raging. As a not entirely recovering Deaniac (who was also screwed over by Democracy For America which supported recent former Republicans, and a former 24-year-old Red Lobster waitresses, while ignoring me, who went out on a limb to support Dean early) I have mixed feelings. Okay, not mixed: I now hate both sides.

Which makes me the perfect choice for the next chairman of the Democratic National Committee. I pledge to be an equal-opportunity testicle roaster (for those women and weenie Democrats who need help in that department, a loaner program can be created for these) and start getting things moving. Politics is a nasty, high impact game, and too many liberal and moderate Democrats play it like it's touch football in girl's gym. Now that I think about it, maybe Clinton was a bit too good at that whole "touch" thing.

Oh, and take the Steelers and the points today, good way to build up that campaign war chest.

So, it's that bad, eh?

2004-11-06T13:51:00.000-05:00

It's come to this.

Canadians pledging to marry poor, liberal Amerks. It's a nice thought, certainly, the kind of nice thing one would expect from Canadians (full disclosure: I have a Tim Horton's problem, and only the fact that the nearest one is 300 miles away keeps me under 400 pounds), but it's probably not the solution.

Now, if someone could start a Meet Jesus and God in person site (this is as close as mere mortals find) for those few wacky fundamentalists (like da prez) who appear to be rooting for the rapture and end times, it might help more.

But on behalf of my fellow Americans with brain injuries (you know who you are, as the Bush sign on your lawn might be a symptom), I'd like to thank Canada for this selfless offer.

Feel free to send donuts, though.

Up to date for now....

2004-11-06T13:37:00.000-05:00

I spent the better part of the morning tweaking the look and feel of this blog...and nothing makes a cranky, under caffienated would-be pol/political operative crankier than hand-coding HTML.

So, if I happen to call for extreme things, like the beheading of your cat or something, don't take it personally, it'll probably pass. Still, you might want to find a safe place for Muffy until I get back from Starbucks.

Folks, it's all about your ego

2004-11-06T09:50:00.000-05:00

There are a thousand different reasons why we lost this week, some beyond our control, such as the clear hanky-panky that went on.

But some of this was within our control.

In a nutshell, I can tell you one big reason why we got our butts kicked from sea to shining sea: ego.

Too many progressives can't be bothered with the bottom of the ticket, can't be bothered to run or help those running for lesser offfices. If half the people who twiddled their thumbs for Kerry were willing to work, instead for their local town council candidate (or, hell, even run themselves), we'd be in better shape today.

Why? Down ballot candidates never get as many votes at those at the top, so getting people motivated to vote for progressives at the bottom of the ticket actually results in more votes at the top of the ticket. It is exactly like trickle-down economics: just like money doesn't go from the top wage earners back into the economy when you cut taxes, votes don't go down the ballot when you work only for the top of the ticket.

And just like economics, if you fill the pockets of the lower and middle classes, they spend it, the economy picks up and we all do better, even the rich. Work and money invested in the bottom of the ticket work their up to the top and produce elections like we just saw.

The Neo-Cons know this. They run with gusto for dogcatcher, register of deeds and constable. And people help them, working for them and giving them money. And they win.

Our side can't be bothered, most of the time, to even run for these offices, let alone help someone else do it. Aside from driving vote up the ticket, the Neo-Cons have built a deep bench full of elected officials who know how to raise money, run for office and win.

Our side doesn't see these races as important enough, as crucial enough to be bothered with. And we lose, often without even taking the field.

Want to start reversing this? Find a local race for next year (a lot of states like Pennsylvania have town races, while New Jersey and others have legislative elections), roll up your sleeves, get down in the muck and get to work. Check your ego at the door.

If we can't run and win in Podunk County, we can't take back the White House and the Congress.

Doom, gloom and rebirth

2004-11-05T11:01:00.000-05:00

Well, we certainly got our asses kicked, didn't we?

I can speak personally, and as a progressive, as I happened to be on the ballot locally myself here in Sunny Pennsylvania, and got wrecked by a man who is not only wildly conservative but also, and I use this word advisedly, evil, not to mention despicable, ignorant, poorly educated, immoral and unethical. While it might be fun and easy to classify all Republican office holders that way, it would also be untrue and unfair. Most of them aren't bad people; they just disagree with us. We do need to go after those few, like my once and future opponent, who represent the worst in American politics, some of whom happen to reside within the Bush Administration.

Oddly, though, unlike most of the progressives in my day-to-day life, I'm not depressed. Disappointed, sure, and I did think Kerry would pull it out, and win. And maybe he did, but there's not a whole lot any of us can do about it right now.

We have to cope with four more years of living in the occupied United States.

The work starts today. We can't waste our time on grassy knoll theories of vote theft and cry in our beer. We need to get down to work, to lay the groundwork for stemming the damage in 2006 and ultimately, undoing it in 2008. If we don't get to work right away and reclaim the country peacefully through smarts, hard work and determination one of two outcomes will occur: civil war or our America will become part theocracy/part oligarchy with no room for democracy.

So where do we start? At home, in your neighborhood. We need to build a movement, dammit, and stop being damn nice. The French Resistance wasn't nice, either, but they got the job done. Collaborators were punished, the occupying government undermined and the way paved for the Allies to invade.

We must become a progressive resistance in order to save our country and 228 years of democracy.

This site will serve as a clearinghouse and a connection point for this resistance. Indeed the revolution will not be televised, but it will be blogged. Starting now.